I'm not gonna go jiwang today



(100 ) flowers | Tumblr

Thought of deleting the previous post, but I don't think it's necessary (not that it is to keep it anyway lol). Sometimes you feel like you need to express something, well, I want to spill out everything in here but here is not the place to tell the world I'm sad. The world doesn't need to know, partly because 99.9% of the world population doesn't care, and partly because...it solves nothing.

Maybe it's a bit typical laa, for a girl in my age to have my heart broken, but that doesn't mean I have to tell the world. Even my family doesn't know (of course, if they do, they'd just ask me to push the matter away okay I get it I'm trying to right now). Like I said in my previous entry, I'd told a best friend because I don't have a best friend for nothing. Actually, I told two, but the other one, I only told her just some bits of my story and we had to go to classes already *sadlyfe*

Nevertheless, though my heart had broken for a lifetime (this is a hyperbole), but I still have something to live for. Not that I'm stupid enough to not live in peace. There are 1001 reasons for me to be happy, so why choose one of few sad reasons? It's just a crush, or maybe love (if it really comes to this ahem), and yet I'm only seventeen. Not that I'm going to get married at 18 or anything! So for now, I'm going to forget that he exists (hard to lol) and live my life in amity! (hello divergent)

I don't know what will happen. But for now, I'm gonna focus, be me, ignore anything unimportant, and well, enjoy my teenager life. Since I won't get another chance at being seventeen *deep*. Be with my besties, study study and study until I become a very resourceful person *lol* and help my deeen because it desperately needs every Muslim to be wise and bold! Somehow at school recently, my classmates and teacher were discussing about how most Muslims (or should I say, Malay muslims) nowadays prone to be lazy, choosy, fussy, disappointing and no real help to our Muslim society.

Yet when I tried to disagree with that fact, there's a voice in my head saying that it's all true. I'm not condemning my own race, but really, it's OBVIOUS -_- And that's why we Muslims have to try harder. Learn, study, understand, and practice. Don't just sit there and do nothing, do something! Do not wait for someone else to act, we have to ourselves! Our knowledge needs our action (said a friend of mine in the past lalalala)

Argh with the haze and all, it's kinda bad here in Malaysia. I hope this will end soon. Sighs.

Broken heart mend, but I'm starting to hate, okay awkward -.-

I'm strong, obviously I'm not invincible



Another Night Another Dream | via Tumblr

♫ Right from the start you were a thief you stole my heart and I your willing victim ♪

Sighs. I was hoping that this feeling wouldn't overwhelm me, but it turns out it does. Argh. Just give me a reason! A reason! Why am I being like this, feeling total lost because....! I shouldn't be so pathetic right now. It's just...just...just that, okay! Get over it, just get over it get over get over it! {and then Edward's vision would form in front of me saying "I hope you enjoy disappointment." ugh} Because I can't JUST get over it! I'm not broken...or maybe I am, or not... Or I'm just crazy *huh*

I think everyone can tell I'm broken or not if I keep listening to these songs;

  • Just Give Me A Reason
  • When I Was Your Man
  • My Happy Ending

Let me take a deep breath........ *inhales all oxygen in the world* Ops sorry, don't die because I took your oxygen, go ask the green plants to make oxygen for you! Hurry hurry! But of course they can't do anything, it's already dark and without sunlight they won't be able to carry out photosynthesis, so I'm sorry if you're gasping for oxygen, please just be kind enough and give all of the oxygen to me, because I desperately need all of it! :'(

What a massive breakdown. I hope I'll be okay. I can't even tell anyone. But I don't have a best friend for nothing. She is asking the same question as me, WHY...? Maybe she doesn't believe the story I told her, I'm trying hard not to either, but...deep down I sort of, kind of, have this feeling that says the story is true. *sighs* She's also having problems of her own, so... I shouldn't burden her with this stupid reason of mine.

Yeaaaaaaaah riiiiiiiiiiiiight, just give me a reason.

Lyrics To My World<3

Okay. I didn't know it would turn out to be like this. The perks of being a "normal" girl. As normal as I can be. You either have to be abnormal, weird, super-awesome, great to be loved, to get attention and to be admired or something. Zzzzzz. So yeah, I'm gonna be normal, normal me.... Ugh, I don't really care what people think of me (errr not sure this is the truth or vice versa -.-), people can say anything to me, but I never care as much as I care for.... Huh. Soooooooooooooooo I should stop self-pitying right now, aye?

Downloaded Virtual Villagers 4: Tree of Life, today. To just play games once in a while, to keep things off my mind for a second. Then my Dad got into my room, and the laptop got hung in the middle of quitting Virtual Villagers, so he snapped to me that I should stop playing games, enough playing games. Oh God why... Why... What is wrong with me... Am I that stupid? I JUST FREAKING DOWNLOAD THE GAME TODAY AND MY LAPTOP DECIDED TO HANG EXACTLY WHEN MY DAD CAME INTO MY ROOM?!

I've got so many things in my sane mind right now, that are driving me insane. Pray for my sanity. Just please.


Karnival 1Murid 1Sukan 2013 - Hijau!


 Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh.

*pasang lagu Alhamdulillah by Maher Zain, part chorus je k* Alhamdulillaah... Our praises to Allah... :D Semalam, 16 Jun 2013, SMKA Sheikh Abdul Malek telah mengadakan Karnival 1Murid 1Sukan atau 1M1S kali kedua (kot, hahaha). Karnival kali ni hanya ada game yang memerlukan team jer. Bola baling, bola jaring, bola tampar, ping pong, futsal, badminton dan.... catur, the only indoor game.

Aku isi nama untuk acara bola tampar, tapi awal-awal lagi aku dah cakap I probably cannot play because semalam ada lawatan dari SMK Muadzam Shah, Pahang and Sekolah Agama Menengah Bestari, Selangor. Para MPP & KP dah tahu kedatangan SMK Muadzam Shah tu, tapi yang SAMBEST tu...kriiik kriiiik, very very very late notice. Sebab most of MPP & KP pergi layan SMK Muadzam Shah, tinggallah aku, Wajihah, Anis dan Fadlan yang menemani SAMBEST dalam bilik mesyuarat zzzz *tido*

Seksa juga terpaksa dengar benda sama dua kali xD Setelah segala-galanya berlalu, pukul 12.30 tengah hari macam tu, aku salin pakaian sukan dan terus gi dekat pusat perkumpulan ahli Rumah Hijau iaitu bilik Bahasa Arab xD Tapi aku tido sebab aku sakit kepala sangat-sangat. Sebab hari Sabtu tu, seharian aku berada di sekolah, pukul 11.30 malam baru sampai rumah, just untuk preparation khemah and all that.

Bebudak tu tengah bincang apa entah -.- Semangat Syaukani tuuu xD
Aisyah sedang melukis semula Shrek, maskot rumah Hijau ialah Shrek (sebab temanya Fairytale)
Si pengecat-pengecat yang setia, Aida and Mai :3
Click to enlarge. Inilah tingkap yang aku buat :') Terharu rasa sebab comel! XD
Rabi (naib pengerusi rumah Hijau) and Qilah Azmi, orang kuat rumah Hijau tengah buat kerja :D
Alya dan Mai bergambar dengan Shrek and family xD *menjadi kot lukisan Shrek, Fiona & Donkey ni*
Preparation room
The making of telinga Shrek, but 'Ainul and da geng kata macam yang untuk jampi jampi tu, voodoo kot xD
Our Pengerusi rumah Hijau muslimat, Sarah Nasuha! With my windows xD
Hiasan khemah ala-ala rumah Shrek. Siriyes aku rasa tenang duk dalam hutan ni xD
Some of the Perbarisan Muslimat team, Maisarah, Farah F2, two kids, Aina, Aida (ewww xD) and Aqilah
Alhamdulillah kemenangan milik rumah Hijau lagi. Hari tu kejohanan merentas desa pun dapat juara jugak okay! Sweet memories in my last year in school. I posted a long post on Facebook about 1M1S and ustazah said, "Panjangnye..." and I was like, "Last year ustazah, tahun depan tak merasa dah.." and she replied back, "Ayat bila masuk form 5..." Aaaaaaaaaaaaa! Ustazah knows me so well! XD

Time perbarisan masuk semua rumah sukan tu, kami team Hijau duduk depan khemah rumah kami. Bila rumah Hijau lalu, punyalah kuat sorakan kiteorang! Then tetiba macamana entah, bila pasukan rumah Merah muslimin lalu depan kiteorang, team Hijau muslimin macam boo boo kat diorang, aku terbuat thumbs down and aku "boo" jugak, dan tetiba kami semua boo diorang dengan kuat sekali. Arghhhh I'm so sorry rumah Merah I didn't mean to! Aku rasa sangat jahat -_-

Maaf yer rumah Merah T_T Kakti ampun.... Piah, ampun... XD Tak sengaja, terbawa-bawa dengan semangat kesukanan untuk rumah Hijau u.u

But seriously, aku tak jangkakan pun kemenangan rumah Hijau ni, sorry to say -__- Aku predicted yang Biru akan menang, sebab untuk permainan sukan tu rumah Biru banyak jugak dapat tempat, perbarisan pun dia menang untuk kategori Muslimat. Tapi akhirnya rumah Hijau jugak yang juara, yayyyy! Masa cikgu pengerusi majlis tu nak umum, "Dan juara keseluruhan Karnival 1M1S dimenangi oleh....."

*cengkerik berlari riang*


Gambar disonglap dari Facebook Yein, diedit oleh diri ini, hahaha

*semua rumah Hijau melompat* {DUSTA} xD

Mungkin advantage kiteorang sebab banyak dapat juara untuk kategori sukan permainan tuh. Hoyeahh hoyeahhh. Khemah tercantik, rumah Kuning yang dapat, juga perbarisan Muslimin. Aaaaa kesian rumah Hijau tak menang pun yang perbarisan padahal diorang comel sangat walaupun pakai plastik ke apa ke tapi diorang sangat comel dan aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa Shrek dan anak-anaknya comel plusplus xD

Dan aku nak pengsan gelakkan Izuddin sebab pakaian dia mengingatkan aku kepada seorang magician, style vest labuh tu, dengan topi bagai. Nasib tak bawak arnab je, keluarkan dari topi tuh xD Tapi, yang lain, yang kena pakai plastik tu aku kesian kotttt -_____-" Juga Shrek with his sons, yang terpaksa cat hijau kat muka, then kena duduk bawah matahari pulak, mujurlah cuaca tak terik sangat semalam. :')

Our Green team :D Alhamdulillah, dapat johan keseluruhan! The guy in yellow, he's our pengerusi (I know it's chairman but it doesn't sound right, though -_-)
Yang aku takkan lupa sekali untuk karnival ni, ialah teamwork para ahli rumah Hijau Form 5. Hari Sabtu tu...ya Allah, terharunya T_T Yang perempuan duk buat preparation macam hiasan dan mewarna gitu, lelaki pulak gi cari kotak dan buluh dan kayu, ulang alik ke Mydin dan kedai, untuk mendapatkan segala jenis peralatan yang tak cukup dan yang tak ada. Mana lagi nak dapat teamwork yang macam ni. Lepas tu bebudak lelaki pergi beli makanan untuk semua orang :') Rabi pun, siap beli Rotiboy berplastik-plastik dan air oren untuk kiteorang. Waaaaaaaaaaaaa terharu!

Time kiteorang tengah kemas balik khemah lepas habis acara semua pun, semua orang masih ada lagi untuk kemas-kemas. Sekejap je kiteorang kemas sebab banyak tangan yang tolong. Rumah Biru sikit je orang yang kemas, dalam tiga orang macam tu je, iaitu Alya, Aisyah and Tommy. Aku pun pergi tolong sikit. Sarah Nasuha, pengerusi rumah Hijau, bagi GREEN light je aku duduk tolong rumah Biru sambil berkata, "Takpe ah Fiey, dah ramai orang kat sini," gesturing to khemah rumah Hijau :3

This is rumah Biru punya team tengah kemas khemah. Aku tolong tengok jer. Wahaha
Bagi aku, semua rumah sukan menang. Ini bukan ayat seorang ahli rumah sukan yang menang, tapi... Did we do all this just TO WIN? Adakah buat segala benda hiasan ni hanya untuk menang? Kalau aku, aku tak kisah duduk sekolah seharian, aku buat kerja semua tu kerana aku nak buat, sebab aku enjoy buat. Menang ke kalah ke itu soal nombor dua. Walaupun kuciwa jugak hiasan khemah tak menang, tapi tak apa ah. Menang kalah nombor dua. Asal kita semua bahagia :D

We had fun, kan?

Anyway, jangan ah sakit hati kat rumah yang menang. Kita semua menang. Kita semua membanting tulang tak ingat rumah (rumah sendiri yang kita tinggal dengan mak ayah tu yer) duk buat preparation semua. Kepada sesiapa yang tak tolong langsung tu, mereka itulah yang kalah. Kalah mati. Kalah tanpa bertanding kepada mereka yang pemalas tahap badak tuh -_-" Okaylah aku malas nak ulas panjang pasal golongan pemalas ni, nanti entri ni tak habis. (dahlah lama tak update blog hahaha)

Sekian sahaja entri kali ni. Nak gi buat menda lain pulak. Tataaa!

Ada orang ponteng hari ini, ihihihihi 

Muhammad and Khadeejah ♥


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh.

Semalam aku ada tweet and post status like this, "Bertolak ke KL dari KT bulan Mei, sampai-sampai je dah Jun. Lama betul perjalanan KT ke KL sekarang." And it was true, OK! Aku naik flight gi KL semalam (31 Mei) and sampai KL 1 Jun. So? So, say hi to June lah. Jangan lupa SPM lagi 5 bulan. Tak cuak lagi ah setakat ni. Buku alhamdulillah dah sentuh. Waahaha

Aku stay dekat rumah Abang, area Seri Semarak ke apa entah nama --" Hari ni Sabtu, so Abang cuti lah kan. Pagi pagi Abang bawak Ummi and Walid bersama isterinya Kak Asnie dan anak mereka, Bareera ke tempat berubat Ummi sakit saraf. Alhamdulillah dah OK dah, cuma Ummi tak boleh angkat barang melebihi 2kg. Huh Ummi tu bukan dengar kata, kalau dia tak ingat, beras 10kg pun angkut *hiperbola* xD

Si Bareera tuh bukan main manja dengan Walid. Geram aku, rasa nak cubitttt je setiap waktu. Dahlah suka buat muka comel dia tuh -.- Kalau orang pegang kamera, pandailah dia posing, duduk diam-diam, lepas orang dah snap pastu bising nak tengok gambar dia. Dahlah makan sayurrrrr! Makan tomato mentah-mentah je! Ada ke patut!!! =__=

Petang tadi gi rumah Abecik. Nak tengok my new baby niece. Khadeeeeeeeeeeeeeejah! Dekat rumah Abecik tu ada rumah mainan *seperti dalam gambar di atas* milik Muhammad. Menurut Abecik, Muhammad hanya main dalam rumah tu tiga hari sahaja lepas tu tak main dah sebab bosan kot -.- Tapi Bareera punyalah gembira duk main dalam tuh sampai Muhammad tercengang.

Comey doh dua budak tuhhhh! Nak tumbok sorang-sorang terutama Muhammad yang matanya sentiasa membulat -_- Muka konfius mula-mula sampai sebab baru bangun tidur. Lepas tu aku angkat dia gi main ngan Bareera *kind aunt mode activated* wahaha. Then Muhammad panggil Abang "Uncle" dan panggil aku "Aunty" ahhhh ini tidak boleh dibiarkan! Aku berasa sangat tua! XD

Habis runtuh rumah hah. Engkorang main ke apa hah -_- Aku gelak je tengok masa ni, the struggle tuh, untuk betulkan rumah tapi apakan daya tak berdaya. Muhammad asyik makan tak henti -.-" Seriyes dia comel. Aaarrghhh! Bila dia sengih menampakkan gigi-giginya yang comellotte tuh, fuhhhh! Dahlah beria-ia je duk bawak kamera aku kat tangan dia. Suka pink ke budak tuh, kalau betul memang keturunan aku ah xD

Diorang main sama-samalah, aku join jugak main lempar-lempar bola kecil tu. Masing-masing asyik duk sebut "ball" je. Muhammad tak habis habis dengan "camel"nyaaaa xD Dah la sebut "camoel" olololo comel :3 Lepas tu Abang tunjuk gambar unta sebenar, tak henti renung skrin henfon -_- Ummi pun tunjuk jugak gambar unta sebenar dari Mekah tahun lepas. Camoellllllll xD

Bareera buat gaya comelll, Muhammad? Flash kuat sangat! Olooooo muka macam Abecik sebijik asdfghjkl! Jom geget budak dua orang ni. Oh ya, Muhammad tak minum air panas. Minum jus epal je tau *like Cufi* lololol. Pastu sweeeet banget bila dia cium adik dia :3

Tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Khadeejah! Her name is just that, okay? Like Muhammad. A stand alone name. She's so merah you know. Dan comel tahap menawan! Aku main sentuh pipi je, pastu mumbled kegeraman. Ummi/Walid suruh pegang bagi dekat Kakcik, aku macam "Uhhh no way what if I drop the baby or something" kan pastu tengok dari jauh xD

Khadeejah lahir 27 Mei pada pukul 2.15 pagi. Atotototo! Comeilll baru beberapa hari dah celik mata. Ni nanti keturunan abang dia lah ni si mata cerah. Oh oh dan kalau dia comel macam Muhammad (or lebih comel)...........speechless OK! *geget bantal*

Then lepas gi rumah Abecik, kiteorang balik rumah Abang. Lepas Maghrib, kiteorang gi shopping! Sebelum gi shopping, gi enjoy Each A Cup dulu sebab Abang janji nak belanja aku *I made him do that promise lol* so try ah yang perisa baru tu, Raspberry apa entah. Sedap jugak. Tapi banyak sangat flavour, aku suka yang Milk Tea tu jerrr. Nyum nyum. Penjual tu cakap kalau beli tiga dapat percuma lebih pearls, Abang cakap, "Takyah ah nanti saya muntah pearl." Lol Abang

Kak Asnie buat gaya ala-ala Bareera sikit. Abang memang sentiasa senyum macam tu aww aww menawan sangat -.-" Thank you Abang and Kak Asnie sebab belanja! Besttt! And masa tengah enjoy Each A Cup tu Kak Asnie talked some sense into me about me being a doctor and all that. Arrrr! She suggested that I be an USTAZAH! Like, a teacher? Oh noooooooooooo I'm never good at teaching people! (and why do everyone keep telling me to be a teacher I mean like isn't it enough that all of my sisters, my parents and one of my brothers are teachers zzzz)

Ugh lepas tu continue dengan shopping barang-barang dapur rumah Abang. Aku sebagai penolak trolley yang setia, menjalankan tugas dengan penuh dedikasi. Lol.

I had never done anything like this before, shopping for groceries for a month! This was my first time and it wasn't that bad lah. Aku mengekor je Kak Asnie, like I always do with my sisters and mom when I go shopping with them. Aku manalah reti shopping shopping ni. Shopping buku je aku reti. Lalalala.

OK I need to stop writing. It's 1.30 in the morning and I have to sleep. Esok Ummi nak gi Home's Harmony dekat One Utama tu, tepi tu kan ada MPH, so apa lagiiiiiii. Hahaha. Walaupun tengah duk baca The Golden Lily ni tapi it wouldn't be a waste kan kalau kita borong lagi buku. Boleh baca time free free nanti. Hihi. It's OK, I'll manage to read books and study, InsyaAllah. OK OK OK I have to go now. Adios, world!

It's fun to be the youngest girl in the family and have lots of nieces and nephews :p