I'm not gonna go jiwang today


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Thought of deleting the previous post, but I don't think it's necessary (not that it is to keep it anyway lol). Sometimes you feel like you need to express something, well, I want to spill out everything in here but here is not the place to tell the world I'm sad. The world doesn't need to know, partly because 99.9% of the world population doesn't care, and partly because...it solves nothing.

Maybe it's a bit typical laa, for a girl in my age to have my heart broken, but that doesn't mean I have to tell the world. Even my family doesn't know (of course, if they do, they'd just ask me to push the matter away okay I get it I'm trying to right now). Like I said in my previous entry, I'd told a best friend because I don't have a best friend for nothing. Actually, I told two, but the other one, I only told her just some bits of my story and we had to go to classes already *sadlyfe*

Nevertheless, though my heart had broken for a lifetime (this is a hyperbole), but I still have something to live for. Not that I'm stupid enough to not live in peace. There are 1001 reasons for me to be happy, so why choose one of few sad reasons? It's just a crush, or maybe love (if it really comes to this ahem), and yet I'm only seventeen. Not that I'm going to get married at 18 or anything! So for now, I'm going to forget that he exists (hard to lol) and live my life in amity! (hello divergent)

I don't know what will happen. But for now, I'm gonna focus, be me, ignore anything unimportant, and well, enjoy my teenager life. Since I won't get another chance at being seventeen *deep*. Be with my besties, study study and study until I become a very resourceful person *lol* and help my deeen because it desperately needs every Muslim to be wise and bold! Somehow at school recently, my classmates and teacher were discussing about how most Muslims (or should I say, Malay muslims) nowadays prone to be lazy, choosy, fussy, disappointing and no real help to our Muslim society.

Yet when I tried to disagree with that fact, there's a voice in my head saying that it's all true. I'm not condemning my own race, but really, it's OBVIOUS -_- And that's why we Muslims have to try harder. Learn, study, understand, and practice. Don't just sit there and do nothing, do something! Do not wait for someone else to act, we have to ourselves! Our knowledge needs our action (said a friend of mine in the past lalalala)

Argh with the haze and all, it's kinda bad here in Malaysia. I hope this will end soon. Sighs.

Broken heart mend, but I'm starting to hate, okay awkward -.-