I'm such a heart breaker

23.3.14

Assalamualaikum.

Have you ever hurt somebody, like, really deep?

I think I have.

And I don't know if I should regret it or not

I mean, one day, you were okay and had heart-to-heart conversations, and then one day you decided to be an asshole so you stopped talking, after that you become good again and start having awkward conversations with them, not caring what they feel at all

I'm the worst human being ever right now.

NOW do I feel bad. But what of the feelings, the hearts that are broken

I don't know

I can't mend those hearts
I don't know how

Maybe one day a person would do the same to me and I'd finally understand. Because right now I'm so clueless. I don't mean to break any hearts, to smash them to pieces.

The distance helps, so, it's okay. I don't have to see his face.

ARGH MY FRIENDS KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT

And then 'Ainul was asking, "Fifiey be honest who do you like, Pb or Bp?" and I didn't have to finish the question, my fingers quickly typed "Pb," because I knowwwwwwwwwww my feelings. I won't lie to myself

But sometimes I feel that I am

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

I try not to get broken. Trying is good.

I'm kind, good and awesome.
I will not break hearts again.


...............but I can't promise.

Dilema Wanita, uhukssssss

Assalamualaikum.

SPM sudah, result pun dah dapat. Sekarang ni, yang duk berlegar kat fikiran ni, apa benda course la aku nak ambik? Dulu nampak macam senang je nak decide.

It was ALWAYS medicine.
My dream was ALWAYS to be a doctor.
Ireland was my destination to pursue medicine. (I still want to go there huwaaaaaa)

Baru-baru ni aku tengok biasiswa, and ada satu biasiswa tu, yang Bank Negara kot, courses yang ditawarkan mostly based on Maths. And then there was this weird course, Actuarial Science. First time jumpa kot, so please don't judge me, okayyyy! -_-

I did a little research on the course, and asked around (actually I only asked my BFF counselor, Cikgu Rabiah lolololol). Then the next day I went back to my hometown, and my relatives were like, "No, don't take medicine blablabla." One of my aunties suggested that I take Actuarial Science and that was when I got excited x)

And then I was chatting with my classmates of 5 Muslim 2013 on WhatsApp. There were only Sarah and Adam at the time, so diorang lah layan aku yang duk meroyan pasal actuarial science and dilema medic whatsoever. Adam said that one of his friends also wants to take Actuarial Science, and he said the peluang kerjaya is quite high.

I was whining and complaining about medic and praising actuarial science. Sarah balas;

Fiey saya tahu awak minat actuarial science,

sebab bila awak sebut actuarial science, gini muka awak
bila sebut medic, gini pulak
Disappointed Face

Hahaha, that's so true.

Aku bukan apa, dah banyak dengar cerita bahawasanya belajar medik ni jalan dia berliku, yalah nak lahirkan doktor yang osem kan. Then nanti bila kerja, susah jugak. And most importantly, I'm never good at Science subjects compared to Maths. Getting an A for Biology was a miracle, and I need an A, too, for Chemistry to be qualified for any scholarships for medicine.

Aku nak buat something ikut minat. I like Maths, love it even. This course, actuarial science, is more to finance and economics (which I despised since forever, wakaka) but a sudden change of heart can happen, especially after you have taken a good look at yourself, and your ability.

If there's no love for Biology, then don't go for medic. End of story.

But no, it's not the end yet. Ummi and Walid aku and my siblings semua harapkan aku jadi doktor. I mean, they will agree with and support me in whatever course I'll take, but bila Ummi buat keluar ayat, "Tak ada lagi keluarga kita yang jadi doktor..." so mestilah rasa bersalah tu menebal dalam diri ye dak? MANNNNN this is hard!

Sometimes I'm thinking, if what I'm doing all this time is all for my parents, not for myself at all. They're the ones that really matter. Macamana eh? I know they're like, "Yes, we will support you nevertheless. Even though you're not taking medicine," but deep down.......... I just don't know, okay?

I asked on 5 Muslim 2013 WhatsApp group chat what would they do if they were in my shoes? Izuddin even thought that I was the eldest in the family because usually yang sulung lah jadi harapan ibu bapa terlampau, he said, "Tak sangka anak bongsu pun macam tu hahaha," do you need to include the hahaha -_-

A little sneak peak on actuarial science

Sains Aktuari

Berkenaan Sains Aktuari

Pertama sekali, adakah anda benar-benar suka matematik? Adakah anda suka menyelesaikan masalah? Ia adalah kemestian jika anda mahu kerjaya dalam bidang sains aktuari. Sains aktuari ditakrifkan sebagai "satu disiplin yang mengaplikasikan kaedah matematik dan statistik untuk menilai risiko dalam industri insurans dan kewangan". Ia tidak mudah untuk menjadi seorang aktuari yang berkelayakan tetapi mampu memberi kepuasan. Sebagai satu profesion, anda akan dianugerahkan persekitaran kerja yang intelektual merangsang dan mencabar dengan pertumbuhan berterusan dalam kemahiran teknikal dan keupayaan.

Prospek Kerjaya


Ini adalah satu profesion yang sangat mahir dan hanya terdapat kira-kira 70 - 80 yang berkelayakan, di Malaysia. Permintaan bagi aktuari yang memiliki kemahiran teknikal serta pengetahuan yang tinggi dalam prospek pekerjaan dalam bidang ini adalah sangat baik dengan pilihan kerjaya dan peluang yang luas. Bank Negara Malaysia adalah perekrut aktuari utama negara tetapi selain daripada itu, graduan mempunyai pilihan menyertai syarikat insurans dan perundingan, kewangan korporat dan pelaburan, bank, keselamatan dan firma broker komoditi atau malah sektor pendidikan.

Menurut Persatuan Aktuari Malaysia (ASM), permintaan untuk aktuari di Malaysia akan terus berkembang dalam beberapa dekad akan datang disebabkan peningkatan keperluan untuk pengurusan risiko dan perkembangan peraturan masa depan.

Penting untuk diketahui

Pengajian Ijazah Sarjana Muda dalam bidang sains aktuari mengambil masa kira-kira tiga hingga empat tahun. Untuk menjadi aktuari profesional, anda perlu melengkapkan satu siri kertas profesional yang biasanya mengambil tiga hingga tujuh tahun lagi untuk disiapkan bergantung kepada keupayaan anda untuk lulus peperiksaan. Peperiksaan profesional adalah berdasarkan Bank Negara Malaysia dan Persatuan Aktuari Malaysia (ASM).


Jadual Gaji


Sudah menjadi pengetahuan umum bahawa aktuari berkelayakan mempunyai gaji lebih tinggi tyang ketara berbanding profesional lain dalam industri kewangan.

Kakti cakap sejak bila aku minat saham, hoi -_- 'Ainul pun pelik wa hairan dah tetiba aku tak nak ambik medic. Hati manusia boleh berubah. Bak kata Kakti setakat ni yang tak berubah untuk aku ialah Pb. Wakakakakakakaka, k. Alamak weh la I love them so much they know me so much uhuks. Alya, Piqah and Piah pun.

Yours sincerely,
Miss Dilemma, so call me Emma not Emma Maembong because I unfollowed her on Insta, eh

p/s: I am considering to take Actuarial Science (AcSc) because of my SPM result. I got All A+ on the languages and Maths subjects, and my aunt said AcSc is the toughest course for Maths, so I should go for it.

p/s 2: ALYA OBVIOUSLY CAN'T TAKE THE COURSE because SHE ONLY GOT As FOR MATHS AND ADD MATHS PFFFFFFFFFFT -_- ada ke patut dia cakap, "Saya nak ambik IT/computer tapi Maths and Add Maths saya A je..." k let's bash Alya for decades huh! xD

My SPM result - 0913

22.3.14

Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh.

Alhamdulillah, all praises to Allah.

10A1B.


I hoped for straight As, tapi inilah rezeki yang Allah bagi. Alhamdulillah. This is my biggest achievement so far, tak pernah dapat 10A pun sepanjang di form 4 atau form 5. The most As I got before was for trial SPM, 8As. Itu pun A+ hanya ada dua sahaja. And.......

I NEVER GOT PAST C+ for Biology, and tadaaaaaaaaaaaaa I got a solid A for Biology in SPM.

I was hoping for straight As, yes, but if it turned out I didn't, I was aiming for Physics or Syariah Islamiah that would shatter the straight As' dream. DIDN'T EXPECT FOR CHEMISTRY, THOUGH!!!!!

And when I told everyone my result, they were expecting me to answer the B to be Biology, yeah, me, too, me, too -_- But truth be told, I was scared for all the science subjects and subjek agama -_- So, you see, I didn't dare to hope for an A+ for Arabic, but.......... Alhamdulillah. I'm more than delighted.

For the first time in forever....I got an A for Bio.... For the first time in forever.... Lol!

My school has 35 straight As students and 31 10As students. Our names were announced and we were required to take our slips from the PKHEM on the stage. So, basically people know how many As we got. The best student goes to Raihanah, my twin (sadly our results don't resemble twins at all, k). 10A+ with a single A - Biology (only 7 people managed to get A+ on the sacred subject lololol)

Piah and Piqah and Auni and me are among the 31 students. Alya? Of courseeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee she's one of the 35, huhhhhh! xD

I'm more than happy to get 10As but of course, I'm not entirely satisfied. I mean, a single subject stands in the way of me getting straight As. *sighs* And my parents' expectations, my family's... It's overbearing and being the last hope for my family doesn't help, k.

But nevertheless, I'm grateful. I'm gonna be okay. Time will heal, I guess. I've accepted my result with an open heart, but I think my parents need some time...

Congratulations to all of us, whether the results are good or bad, but we'd tried our best! I needn't to say anything to those straight As students, you already know what to do and the future welcomes you ahead with open arms :D But to those who didn't get straight As, you had done okay. It's not the end of the world (tho it somehow feels that way sometimes aher)

If you believe in yourselves, believe in what you can really do, you'll be amazing in the next ten years. Getting straight As is just happiness on the result day and a few days after, trust me. Plus the money or presents you will get, hehehehe!

Please have faith in yourselves, you will be great. You will.

Be grateful. :)

Sorry I've been busy

13.3.14

Assalamualaikum

Hey thereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. There has been lack of blogging lately because I'm too busy reading books, going to KL, finishing tasks as a freaking secretary (seriously who appointed me as one IDK la I'm gonna kill'em one day). I had to go to KL, and during my stay in KL, the pengarah of the programme was talking about submitting my task on Wednesday

Freak, stop, I hate you

And then I have a partner, but I'm doing most of the tasks, but oh well. I asked him to do ONE THING and he said he was busy and I was like are you freaking kidding me so you're busy????? YOU'RE BUSY?!?!!!! What a selfish reason and let's call it a stupid one, too

Since I'm not a person who scolds people on the spot, but rather spits on my best friends about why people are acting like germs and jerks and stuffs. I only asked you A FAVOUR ONCE IN A LIFETIME, IN A YEAR. Just a single invitation card (whereas I have to print out, like, 150 cards), and you said NOOO I'M BUSY

I was in freaking KL, if I were in Terengganu, I'd do it myself. I'd even print out all of the invitation cards and give them to 150 people on TUESDAY but I WASN'T in Terengganu

Kalau boleh aku buat sendiri, aku buat. Aku tak mintak tolong orang. Zzzzt.

I don't know if I can still tolerate this kind of stupid nonsense in the future. I have a feeling I'm not going to escape this path of leadership I've been walking into since primary school, asdfghjkl. Not that I'm complaining or SHOWING OFF (some people said I'm showing off and sombong, try putting yourselves in my shoes for once), but I think I've had enough of stupidity and idiocy

I guess once it runs in the blood, it'll never stop flowing

No idea why I'm bickering about some bunch of unimportant people in this entry but I have to let it out somehow. Who knows maybe one day these people who don't give a damn about responsibility and commitment will read my entry and they'll realize how ignorant they have been.

And then when I do the task ALONE, they call it "Fifiey you cannot buat kerja sorang sorang" WTH I have no one else to help me, so I have to rely on myself. I'm practicing on my own survival skills.

Okay, Fifiey, get a grip.

Breathe in.
Breathe out.

Thanks, 'Ainul, Alya and Kakti for being there for me, to hear my complaints and all.

Ugh I'm so mad and angry and moody these days, maybe because of the weather itself and I'm just pissed, okay? -_-

p/s: Oh, by the way, keep praying for MH370. Ignore all the stupid bomoh thing-y, semoga diberi hidayah lah puak puak tu. Bagi nyior kat aku takpe, aku suka minum air kelapa -_-"

Day 5: A book that makes you happy

6.3.14

Assalamualaikum

Day 5: A book that makes me happy

Untitled

There are so many books I've read, and among those I've shed tears, felt helpless turning each page to the next. I don't know which book that makes me happy, or how in the world the book sends happiness into my system. I have no idea, no idea at all, what to search in terms of making me happy, in a particular book.

Since all I've ever read consist of...betrayals, broken hearts, misjudge people, the "I thought I was human, but I didn't think so" (I'm getting tired of this -_-)

For One More Day by Mitch Albom

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It really is an inspiring book. Feeling desperate and losing hope in life, and then your late mother came for you, babying you, showing you the people around who were dying but happy. The book is about a man, in his forties I guess, tried to commit suicide but found himself in his old home with his dead mother.

"Every family is a ghost story . . ."

Mitch Albom mesmerized readers around the world with his number one New York Times bestsellers, The Five People You Meet in Heaven and Tuesdays with Morrie. Now he returns with a beautiful, haunting novel about the family we love and the chances we miss.

For One More Day is the story of a mother and a son, and a relationship that covers a lifetime and beyond. It explores the question: What would you do if you could spend one more day with a lost loved one?
As a child, Charley "Chick" Benetto was told by his father, "You can be a mama's boy or a daddy's boy, but you can't be both." So he chooses his father, only to see the man disappear when Charley is on the verge of adolescence.

Decades later, Charley is a broken man. His life has been crumbled by alcohol and regret. He loses his job. He leaves his family. He hits bottom after discovering his only daughter has shut him out of her wedding. And he decides to take his own life.

He makes a midnight ride to his small hometown, with plans to do himself in. But upon failing even to do that, he staggers back to his old house, only to make an astonishing discovery. His mother who died eight years earlier is still living there, and welcomes him home as if nothing ever happened.

What follows is the one "ordinary" day so many of us yearn for, a chance to make good with a lost parent, to explain the family secrets, and to seek forgiveness. Somewhere between this life and the next, Charley learns the astonishing things he never knew about his mother and her sacrifices. And he tries, with her tender guidance, to put the crumbled pieces of his life back together.

Through Albom's inspiring characters and masterful storytelling, readers will newly appreciate those whom they love and may have thought they'd lost in their own lives. For One More Day is a book for anyone in a family, and will be cherished by Albom's millions of fans worldwide.

At least no one in this book is inhuman, right? xD Mitch's an awesome author, I love him. I have his other books, Tuesdays with Morrie and The Five People You Meet In Heaven (which I haven't touched yet ehehhehe).

I love inspiring books. Like this. But............................. I've grown accustomed to paranormal and mythical and somewhere between that books. You know, in my first years of reading English novels, I got a rack full of black-covered books and my sisters were like, "All of your books are black!" and when I asked them to read one of the books, they said, "Oh? Which one? The black one?" -_-

p/s 1: I finished Shatter Me earlier and I don't know who to love, Adam or Warner or anyone. Warner's a bit like that guy in James Anderson's Witch and Wizard's series who fell in love with the heroine. Sort of.

p/s 2: I am just done watching Frozen for the third time :')))

Bye! :D

My little guy

Assalamualaikum

Zunah baby and Riaz

My eldest nephew, Abdillah Riaz Fansuri, uhuks, sedih plak nak bagitau berita ni... Dia dapat masuk sekolah asrama penuh di Setiu, Terengganu. At first I was like, "He's going...he wants to....yes, yes, he'll go," but then I remembered that Setiu and Puchong are quite a distance to each other, meaning he has to leave his family behind (not permanently, yeah, but still)....

*sighs*

Actually, I just can't believe how fast time flies. He's already a man now x'D Going to a boarding school and all, being sixteen T____________T He's a teenager for crying out loud :')))

I hope he'll do well in this new school, he got 7As for PMR with a C for Bahasa Melayu ahaks! Semoga anak sedara aku ni berjaya, study leklok kat sekolah baru. Mak aiii takde harapan la nak ambik EST, Riaz oi, dah masuk sekolah sains... (ke boleh je tambah subjek?!)

All the best to my sixteen-year-old nephew! Alahai, lambat lagi la sepupu dia yang lelaki seorang tu (Muhammad) nak besar jadi macam dia -___- Spesies lelaki dalam kalangan cucu Ummi dan Walid agak endangered sedikit sebab ada dua orang je uhukssssssssssss

Nanti boleh drive pergi kat dia (bajet macam dah ada je lesen hua hua hua), ganggu dia tiap-tiap minggu. Kekekekeke. Hope he'll do and be well at his new school! Thank God it's a boarding school, there won't be any staying up late for computer games or internet. He'll adapt, soon.

ADAPT!

Seriously, Tokmi and aunties dia pulak yang eksaited dia nak datang sekolah sini -______-" Dapat pulak kat sini, Terengganu, Abelong cakap nanti jadi cucu emas lahhhhh x'''D Kaklong dah sebak dah nak lepas Riaz pergi. I wonder how his sisters are feeling (especially Rabia). Huwaaa I'm so sad! *tetiba*

Welcome home! :D

Day 4: Favorite book of your favorite series

5.3.14

Assalamualaikum

image

Day 4: Favourite book of my favourite series (The Infernal Devices)

CLOCKWORK PRINCESS

The finale of the series.

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London 1873 shape-shifter Tessa Gray 16 is engaged to Jem Carstairs 17, dying of addiction to demon drug, all bought up by evil Mortmain. The "clockwork prince" controls an army of automatons to abduct Tess, kill the Shadowhunters, and blackmail Charlotte Branwell, head of London Institute. Will and Tessa hide their love, for love of Jem.

I don't know. There were so much feels in reading this book. The truth about Will, Tess. Jem dying. Jem and Tessa engaged to each other. Will backing off because he never wanted to break Jem or anything. He loved Jem too much to fight for Tessa. It was so good, I cried without willing the tears out.

I guess the books that make me cry are all my favourites T.T

It was when Jem was in his death bed (he didn't die literally but let's just call it his death bed), and everyone was busy searching the cure for his demon disease, with Tessa was missing... Jem asked Will to search for her and finally learned the truth about Will's feelings for Tessa. It was heartbreaking, okay? You can't imagine the love Jem had for Will, Will for Jem, Tessa for both of them argh it broke me

And the sacrifice Jem made, to leave everything, everyone behind, so that he could live. It tore my heart inside out. When Jem finally made his choice, the link severed, Will - on his journey to find Tessa - thought that Jem had died, it broke me again and again oh the agony

When Will and Tessa were finally together, and then all seemed well... All seemed too well, and in the end Tessa found her happiness.

PLEASE READ IT, ANYONE, SO THAT YOU CAN FEEL ME AS WELL I'M DROWNING HERE

Jem bit his lower lip, bringing color to the white skin. "And - forgive me for asking this - it is not a passing fancy, a transient regard...?" He broke off, looking at Will's face. "No," he murmured. "I can see that it is not."

"I love her enough that when she assured me that she would be happy with you, I swore to myself I would never speak of my desires again, never indicate my regard by word or gesture, never by action or speech violate her happiness. My feelings have not changed, and yet I care enough for her and for you that I would not say a word to threaten what you have found." The words spilled from Will's lips; there seemed no reason to keep them back. If Jem was going to hate him, he would hate him for the truth and not a lie.

Jem looked stricken. "I am sorry, Will. So very, very, sorry. I wish that I had known -"

Will slumped down in the chair. "What could you have done?"

"I could have called off the engagements -"

"And broken both your hearts? How would that have benefited me? You are as dear to me as another half of my soul, Jem. I could not be happy while you were unhappy. And Tessa - she loves you. What sort of awful monster would I be, delighting in causing the two people I love the most in the world agony simply that I might have the satisfaction of knowing that if Tessa could not be mine, she could not be anybody's?"

- Clockwork Princess

Day 3: Your Favourite Series

4.3.14

Assalamualaikum

I'm so excited with today's challenge!

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Day 3: My favourite series

Of course it goes to.............. The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare!

It's a trilogy - Clockwork Angel, Clockwork Prince and Clockwork Princess, in that order.

I can't help but fell helplessly in love with William Herondale because he was too asdfghjkl too much sufferings, too many complications. William Herondale, a tortured soul T___________T

The heroine in the series is Theresa Palmer Gray. She was torn between two boys, Will Herondale and Jem Carstairs and they were undoubtedly both charming and everything for Tessa. And those two boys were Parabatai, a link that bounded them together as brothers in battle/action.

It's a world of Shadowhunters, set long before The Mortal Instruments.

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Their love triangle relationship was like if Tessa chose Will, Will and Tessa themselves would be against it because they wouldn't want to hurt Jem (who was already sick to death, but he didn't die, okay). And then Jem was asking Will to go after Tessa and arghhhh you have to read the books to understand!

Tessa was irrevocably in love with both of the boys. I know, some said that it's impossible to love two persons at one, but.... I don't know. I really don't.

Jem didn't know that Will loved Tessa, but Will knew Jem loved Tessa because Jem was then engaged to Tessa and Tessa accepted because Jem was dying and oh well she loved Jem but in the mean time she loved Will, too, and everyone knows that Tessa loved Will first!

(okay it's complicated)

But in the end, I don't know. If Will or Jem had won. I clearly can't decipher, but I guess the ending was steady and happy.

The series is not just interesting because of the strong love between the three, but mostly about who/what Tessa really was. It was an agonizing two books to finally know what Tessa really was. I cried most of the time because there were betrayals that were too much to bear, the sufferings and sacrifices that had to be made. Ridiculous T_T

There are Team Will (which I obviously am with) and Team Jem (I don't like Jem that much because I think he sort of took Tessa from Will, whatever). Well, after reading the last book, Clockwork Princess, screw both the teams. :')))

Just go read them, purchase these books online on MPHonline.com. This really is an awesome series, and it will forever be my favourite. You'll love William, Tessa and Jem, and you will absolutely feel like you yourselves are torn between William and Jem. As if you are Tessa.

p/s: I'm cheating on this challenge. If you hadn't notice yet x'D

Mind you, mind me, mind map!

Assalamualaikum

Hai korang. Hari ni kita cakap melayu je OK? *emoji yang gelak nangis tu* Jap jap


Pernah tak pergi mana-mana lepas tu jumpa stranger yang agak muda-mudi, then tetiba diorang tegur dan address korang dengan panggilan "kak" yang menggambarkan dia tu lagi muda pada kita? Pernah tak? Aku bukan nak marah (okay actually marah la jugak), tapi aku sensitip sikit dengan penggunaan "kak" tu macam perasan muda gila je orang yang panggil aku macam tu

Seriously I hate it. Like, super duper hate. People don't like to be addressed as an old craypot (krepot ke ni wakakaka). The thing is, not everyone in this world is older than you and you're not as young as you think, so please. Frankly, if I found this type of people, I'd likely be happy to ignore them for the rest of my life. Their first impression of calling me "kak" is enough to make me ignore them

Fifiey where's your full stop, don't make grammatical errors here

Kalau yang memang muda (dan nampak muda pada aku), aku tak kesah lah nak panggil aku "kak". Tapi ni yang mekap tebal lima inci, abang-abang kakak-kakak kerja pun nak panggil aku "kak". Get over it, people.

Tapi kalau aku pakai tudung putih, takde orang panggil aku "kak" sebab mesti ingat aku budak sekolah menengah, so okay aku pakai tudung putih jela pasni


So kepada anda di luar sana, kalau jumpa/cakap dengan strangers, do not use that "kak". If you don't know whether they are older or younger, just use "awak". That way is better because that stranger would somehow correct you or wouldn't (if you both are of the same age). Macam beriya je aku post pasal menda ni, tapi memang ahhhh kan!

Aku naik fed-up bila orang perasan muda ni. Rasa nak ketuk-ketuk je kepala. I know I don't look like I'm younger than you but I am, cik KAK! Ada jugak yang jenis lahir akhir tahun tapi nak panggil kengkawan seumur "kak" I'm like

Cute baby are you serious?

Ok dah aku ni pepagi dah nak emo dah. Semalam melarat WhatsApp dengan 'Ainul dan Alya sampai pukul dua pagi. Duk gelak melampau buat lawak habis semua sampai dah letih nak tahan gelak (takkan la tetiba nak gelak kuat berdentum it was in the middle of the night).

Karang aku sambung buat book challenge wokayhhh, nak baca buku jap *fifiey bookworm* *alya jangan bash*

p/s: aku tak pernah agi setakat ni address orang "kak" melainkan aku tahu dia tu tua pada aku, sebab aku tahu orang pun tak suka aku panggil diorang "kak" tetiba. ada jugak yang tua pada aku tapi aku tak panggil "kak", because...well, because I can and if they're comfortable that way, jadi aku tak panggil "kak" lah :3

Day 2: A book that you’ve read more than 3 times

3.3.14

Assalamualaikum

Hi again, I know I'm late but I'm not guilty. I'd spent a whole day reading and I finished Raven's Gate and am in the middle of Evil Star. Yay me!

Day 2: A book that I've read more than 3 times

The Host by Stephenie Meyer.

I wasn't into aliens and science-fictions before but then there was something tugging at me to search about The Host (maybe a while after I had finished Breaking Dawn) and I ended up reading the plot summary on wiki. Instantly I went around my house to find the book (because I sort of threw the book somewhere after I bought it since I didn't find it interesting).

(I wasn't into aliens and stuffs, but then there was I Am Number Four, so since then...)

It was a relief to get my hands on the book. The first few chapters were undoubtedly boring, but the story developed more and more when Wanda wandered around for Jeb's cave. I instantly hated Jared for his violence towards Wanda, I mean, come on, don't be cruel, Jared!

I don't know why, but yesterday's entry was also about a hero I hate (Dimitri), and today, Jared Howe. But Dimitri wins. No one loses to Dimitri, even in the most-hated-hero competition.

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Melanie Stryder refuses to fade away. The earth has been invaded by a species that take over the minds of human hosts while leaving their bodies intact. Wanderer, the invading "soul" who has been given Melanie's body, didn't expect to find its former tenant refusing to relinquish possession of her mind.

As Melanie fills Wanderer's thoughts with visions of Jared, a human who still lives in hiding, Wanderer begins to yearn for a man she's never met. Reluctant allies, Wanderer and Melanie set off to search for the man they both love.

I read The Host several times because I really love Wanda, to the core. I mean, she was so nice and innocent and inhumanely kind. Of course, she wasn't human. She was a soul, a worm-like creature that could be inserted into a human's body. Also, because somewhere in the world, out there, there may be a person like Wanda.


1. Wanda and Ian
It was complicated, yes, with Wanda's conflicted feelings for Jared because of Melanie's feelings (you'd find this complicated). But, don't you wish there was someone like Ian for you? He was the perfect one for Wanda, never even really cared what she was, as long as she was his Wanda. Ian O'Shea, too sweet to be true.

He held Wanda in her purest form in his hands, hugging Wanda's soul because he loved her damn well.

2. Wanda and Jamie
Jamie was Melanie's brother. He was one of the firsts to believe Wanda was unlike any other souls that inhabited their hosts. Jamie knew Wanda was different, and he believed Wanda when she told her that Melanie was still in alive somewhere in the body.

He trusted Wanda and was the one to choose the perfect host for Wanda in the end.

The Host
Ian and Wanda

3. Wanda and Jeb
Jeb trusted Wanda and that was all that mattered. He found the cave, so he had the sole authority to either protect Wanda or throw her out. Jeb believed Wanda and found Wanda interesting. In fact, he gave Wanda the name 'Wanda'.

If there were no Jeb, Wanda would be long dead.

4. Wanda and Doc
Doc was a doctor, obviously. He was one of the friends Wanda had in the cave. Most of the people in the cave didn't trust her, but Doc did. Wanda trusted Doc, too. When Wanda was about to die (she made Doc promised her that he would take her soul out from Melanie's body and bury it), Doc had said, "The universe will be a darker place without you," and I cried really hard.

5. Wanda and Melanie
See, they were both in the same head. At first Melanie hated Wanda but she learned to love Wanda as her sister in the end. They relationship bloomed until Melanie was willing to let Wanda continue living in her body, but Wanda, being the pure soul she was, couldn't let Melanie be lost as long as she lived in Mel's body.

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She looks creepy T_T

I don't usually read books or watch movies more than once, but The Host and Breaking Dawn were the only exception (oh and Clockwork Angel, too). Reading The Host for more than three times? I don't even know why, maybe because I was touched by Wanda's innocence and kindness. And maybe because there were many parts on trust and family.

(and every time I read the book, I'd sob helplessly)

It's a great book. I prefer it to be just one book, but Stephenie Meyer decided to make a sequel. Seriously, the ending was perfect. I see no reason to make a sequel.

Bye.

Giggle wiggle

2.3.14

Assalamualaikum
Bff<3

Recently, I went to Kaklong Ainul's house to hang out with my best beloved frozenated girls, Syafiqah, Sofiah, Kakti, Alya and of course 'Ainul (takkan pergi rumah Kaklong 'Ainul tapi 'Ainul takdak pulak wakaka). Kaklong's a doctor, so that day she went to work for a full day and that left 'Ainul alone :'( So as the best companions in the whole universe to her (okay I'm exaggerating), we decided to go to Kaklong's house, yay!

Of course la memula tak kenal rumah Kaklong kat mana, but in the end we found 'Ainul waiting for us by the roadside -.-" Because we're suckers for directions and dahlah masuk jalan salah. There was a beautiful villa with its name plastered in front of the house, dan masa on the phone with 'Ainul, asyik duk tanya, "Vila Desa tahu?" of course she was clueless sebab villa tu kat jalan lain. Kekeke

And it didn't help that these kids kept shouting and screaming, "Ainul!", "Villa Desa!", "Kat mana Nuuuu?" and we ended up laughing and 'Ainul frustrated -_-

I brought along my Dad's LCD so that we could watch movies on the big screen (which there wasn't any screen at Kaklong's house, but there were plenty of empty walls, so we sort of used one of them as the screen). Upon entering the house, our voices echoed. And I was about to, "Hello?! Echo echo echo!" but Sofiah made me shut up -__________-

Aku semangat gila nak memasak, lol. Before reaching 'Ainul's house, Syafiqah, Sofiah and I went shopping for some groceries - for spaghetti and mushroom soup's ingredients. We asked Alya to bring some onions and garlic (sebab ada budak tuh nak gi beli beberapa biji bawang merah dan selabu bawang putih je kat Mydin lepas tu kena bebel dengan makcik-makcik berkenaan).

I also phoned Kakti to bring tomatoes.

Aku: Ti, bawak tomato.
Kakti: Nak berapa?
Aku: 3 bijik ok dah.
Kakti: Tapi saya ada 2 bijik je......
Aku: Bawak jelahh yang mana ada tu! -_-"

Sadlyf, Ti, sadlyf. xD

Time bebudak tu tengah cari movie nak tengok (which turned out they didn't find any -.-), aku terus gi dapur siang bawang ya Allah bagusnya Fatin Athirah Azmi sekarang volunteerkan diri ke dapur untuk memasak bagusnyaa terharuuuuuuuuuuuuu :')

Puiiiii! xD

Then, Syafiqah joined me in to cook her mushroom soup, 'Ainul helping me with the spaghetti and all. So we cooked, cooked, cooked until Syafiqah's mushroom soup tasted off, and then they (Sofiah and Syafiqah since the mushroom soup was their recipe) remembered they didn't buy kiub ayam or something, lepas tu keluar pergi beli. I stayed put with my spaghetti sauce (yang terlebih bawang, ops! xD) and 'Ainul did some kitchen cleaning, Sofiah babying the mushroom soup.

I fried some cheese balls and Piah gave me a sinister laugh because the minyak was exploding or something -.-" I am, actually, not fond of frying things so I handed the job to 'Ainul/Piah and went to the living room to catch up with my laptop. I was done cooking.

Lepas tu, Syafiqah, Kakti and Alya balik dari kedai with the kiub ayam and the soup was superb. We ate (I didn't actually feel like eating so I ate only a little, I usually don't feel hungry after cooking). Syafiqah was foreverrrrr hungry, I think if there was a zombie apocalypse she would still be hungry. I favoured the cheese balls so much, sooooooo I ate them most than my friends, uhuks!

Oh the beverage was bandung cincau (no one got to eat the cincau because it sank to the bottom of the jug --").

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While eating we browsed out some movies (and tried to watch one or two of them but ended up stopping in the middle of the movies sebab entah apa-apa cerita, tak paham langsung -_-). We ended up watching Paku (by we, I mean Alya and I alone because the others were either gossiping, cleaning the kitchen (this is 'Ainul, of course xD) stalking people's Instagrams using MY phone oh well).

Tapi last sekali semua tengok cerita Paku tu dengan penuh rasa mengarut. I mean, annoying gila kot cerita, ridiculous. I read somewhere on the internet the movie was a little bit of a Twilight-biased, but! Seriously, mengarut. Mind blown pun ada jugak. But in the end it was quite sad, so okay.

After Paku, we watched the best movie ever, FROZEN!!!

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Everyone fell in love with Olaf, of course. And instantly they want Elsa, Elsa, Elsa (probably because she has magical powers), but I'm with Anna because she's a princess, not a Queen. Lol.

And um, I don't like Elsa that much because she's........blonde. Kay.

I'm not being racist but I've never liked any blondes or blonds! I prefer dark-haired people :3

Even elsa cant

Wait, what? Where did this come from -_-

Do you wan't to build a snowman?

I thought my friends wouldn't love Frozen, but they did and they do! Piah cakap Hans macam monyet pada awalnya (Piah ke Kakti? xD). Well he deserves it because he's a jerk. Fine I shipped him and Anna, then him and Elsa but he's just a meaningless dork. Zzzzt.

After finishing Frozen, all of us went home and mak 'Ainul datang bawak 'Ainul pergi beli barang dapur. So that was the end of our happiest moment in life. InsyaAllah ada masa buat lagi, best masak masak!

Baiiiiiiiiii~ :3

Day 1: Best book you read last year

Assalamualaikum

Beep beep!
Day 1: Best book I read last year

So, let's see... How many books had I read last year (and the year before)? I lost count -_- And I don't usually note down the date I start and finish a book. Goodreads has been helping me keeping track of my reading progress, but I just start using it this year.

Uh okay, I'm gonna go with The Indigo Spell by Richelle Mead. It's the third book in the Bloodlines series. A little bit about Bloodlines - it centers on Sydney Sage's life, as an Alchemist, a witch and a rebel. You may not know her, but she was present in the Vampire Academy series where she helped Rose or something (I don't remember).

Bloodlines series also tells a lot about Adrian Ivashkov, the most appropriate love interest for Rose Hathaway, OBVIOUSLY (please note that I hate Dimitri Belikov so shut up), but Rose turned Adrian down for Belikov. Adrian had to bear the outcome after that, being heartbroken and all, which was so annoying. Still, I don't blame Rose. It's Dimitri all along.

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Sydney Sage is an Alchemist, one of a group of humans who dabble in magic and serve to bridge the worlds of humans and vampires. They protect vampire secrets--and human lives.

In the aftermath of a forbidden moment that rocked Sydney to her core, she finds herself struggling to draw the line between her Alchemist teachings and what her heart is urging her to do.

Then she meets alluring, rebellious Marcus Finch--a former Alchemist who escaped against all odds, and is now on the run. Marcus wants to teach Sydney the secrets he claims the Alchemists are hiding from her. But as he pushes her to rebel against the people who raised her, Sydney finds that breaking free is harder than she thought.

There is an old and mysterious magic rooted deeply within her. And as she searches for an evil magic user targeting powerful young witches, she realizes that her only hope is to embrace her magical blood--or else she might be next.

I think the book was amazing. And as far as my mind can reach the previous year, this book was one of the beautiful written books. Or, maybe the strained romance between Sydney and Adrian (oh dammit spoiler!), with Sydney being all paranoid about her beliefs (one of them: no human should have any relationship with Moroi or dhampir).

Sydney totally shut Adrian out, and was clueless about her feelings for him.

Apart from that, I love their 'family'. They went to Palm Springs to hide Jill, Queen Lissa Dragomir's younger sister because in order for Lissa to remain on the throne, she needed another living family member, that was why Jill was brought to a summer-like place where Moroi and Strigoi were unlikely to be there, so Jill wouldn't be in danger of getting killed. (some Moroi tended to kill Jill because they wanted the throne)

An Alchemist, like Sydney, was needed so that she could control the situation; the humans mustn't know about Moroi, Strigoi or dhampir. So, she had to supervise the vampires living among humans.

As a part of the mission, Sydney became Sydney Melbourne, and the others Jill Melbourne, Adrian Melbourne and Eddie Melbourne (dhampir guardian). Sydney was close to Eddie, they actually were like real siblings and I love their talks and brother-and-sister relationship.

Whilst playing a 'nanny' to both Moroi and Eddie and also Angeline (a newcomer, a dhampir who loved creating scenes, troublesome irresponsible but could be relied on in battle), Sydney found out the truth about her lifetime belief of the Alchemists. She even practiced magic with her teacher (who was a witch). Some time later, she decided to find Marcus, a famous rebel who secretly tried to recruit more rebels from the Alchemists (because hell yeah, the Alchemists were all bossy and they could be torturous and cold-hearted at the same time).

There was also another friend of Sydney, Trey, oh I loooooooove him (he was in love with Angeline) who understood Sydney like no other. He sort of match-made Sydney with a brainiac guy just like Sydney and from there it started to be funny (and Sydney realized her love was not for that B-guy - sorry I forget his name xD).

Sydney was portrayed to be a strong woman (she always is anyway) in this third book. There were two major events that she somehow settled and she also had to deal with some of her real family problems.

I don't know what else to describe but I remembered reading this book for a couple of days non-stop because I clearly couldn't put it down -_- At the time I realized I was looking forward for Sydney to admit her feelings for Adrian (Adrian had somehow expressed his to her, but oh well we all know how Sydney was).

And I remember Jill's words for Sydney, "They talk, you act, Sydney," stating that Sydney was a super-hyper-active young lady who would do anything to demand the truth of her Alchemists organization, and the truth of her own powers. She totally went against all of the Alchemists beliefs by consulting an on-the-run rebel, Marcus, and practicing magic because she was a badass that wayyyy! She was so brave, she did everything all by herself (without being caught!).

And the ending of this book was so perfect that I finally could live in peace after I finished reading it. (there's a chance that I'm lying here but you wouldn't know unless you read the book :3)

I didn't think I would come to love the series because I had my experience with Vampire Academy, so I thought Mead would write something similar to the VA series. But as it turns out, Bloodlines is really well-written. There's not much nonsense as there was in VA, anyway.

(Don't mind me, I'm probably still despising Rose's love choice)

p/s: I am on the verge of falling apart because I just finished reading Allegiant this evening

30-day book challenge!

1.3.14

Assalamualaikum
Since today is March 1st in the year 2014, I've decided to make a 30-Day Book Challenge (I wanted to make this month-challenge since last month but it was in the middle of February, so yeaaah). Thank God March has 31 days, lol!

And after looking at Farah's 30-day challenge, I remembered that today is March 1st. So, happy birthday Kakak :-*



Day 01 - Best book you read last year
Day 02 - A book that you’ve read more than 3 times
Day 03 - Your favorite series
Day 04 - Favorite book of your favorite series
Day 05 - A book that makes you happy
Day 06 - A book that makes you sad
Day 07 - Most underrated book
Day 08 - Most overrated book
Day 09 - A book you thought you wouldn’t like but ended up loving
Day 10 - Favorite classic book
Day 11 - A book you hated
Day 12 - A book you used to love but don’t anymore
Day 13 - Your favorite writer
Day 14 - Favorite book of your favorite writer
Day 15 - Favorite male character
Day 16 - Favorite female character
Day 17 - Favorite quote from your favorite book
Day 18 - A book that disappointed you
Day 19 - Favorite book turned into a movie
Day 20 - Favorite romance book
Day 21 - Favorite book from your childhood
Day 22 - Favorite book you own
Day 23 - A book you wanted to read for a long time but still haven’t
Day 24 - A book that you wish more people would’ve read
Day 25 - A character who you can relate to the most
Day 26 - A book that changed your opinion about something
Day 27 - The most surprising plot twist or ending
Day 28 - Favorite title
Day 29 - A book everyone hated but you liked
Day 30 - Your favorite book of all time