Kereta rosak



So today the plan was going to get Sofiah and 'Ainul's driving licenses done at JPJ, fetch my smartphone at the phone shop, buy new cover for the newly repaired phone and a few other tasks.

Supposedly I was to pick 'Ainul up at her house. But, the car had another plan. It decided to break down in the middle of the road whilst waiting for the traffic light. Kereta tu memang dah lama nazak, but oh well it's the only car in this house that is manual and my dad wouldn't allow me to drive an auto yet. The traffic light turned green and my left foot was already releasing the clutch and my right one slowly pressed the gas pedal, but the car didn't move -..-

I was like, "What am I going to do? I'm not going to push the car alone, where's my handphone need to call Walid right now," which I did. I called him and explained what was going on and he said that he would be on his way immediately (after I included that the car broke down in the middle of the traffic). So, I waited and turned off the engine and called 'Ainul and Piah telling them about what was happening (I didn't panic at all because I thought it was funny what the -_-)

Then a few moments of green and red lights, I thought of turning on the engine and trying the gas pedal if it'd work. Masuk gear 1, tekan pedal minyak, bergerak la encik kereta tu! Thankfully it was a green light and I drove the car to the nearest stesen minyak (U-turn sikit jer). I was wondering why la kereta ni berat sangat, when I parked inside the station baru aku sedar aku tak buat turun hand brake.........kay hambar kan xD I waited for Walid there. Nak call Ummi, asking for their whereabouts, tapi..........kredit habis saat itu juga. K.

Walid and Ummi arrived minutes later, and we only went to fetch Sofiah (sebab rumah dia on the way je) and had to leave 'Ainul behind. Sofiah and I went to JPJ to settle her license. But her name wasn't registered on the system yet, so we walked to Giant to get a new cover for my SII. I bought a pink one (obviously). Lepas tu we ate at KFC and my parents came to pick us up home. I stayed at Piah's house for a while to show her how to download movies or anything using torrents. (but I forgot to teach her how to install the subtitles -_-)


I'm Divergent (more to Amity, though, actually)


This is my result for my aptitude test. If you watch (or read Divergent), you'd know about this. Basically Abnegation is a faction of selfless people, Amity the kind (and happy and peaceful), Candor people who tell the truth all the time and are diligent in detecting lies, Dauntless is the brave faction and finally the faction of geniuses and intelligent people; Erudite.


My second test is better than the first one, though I lack bravery for the second test. BUT, my genius points have increased so I'm not stupid anymore (who said you are, Fifiey, oh for goodness' sake... -_-) Well I still got Amity and Abnegation the highest. Meh, I got the same percentage for all Abnegation, Candor and Dauntless! AND I'M SUPER KIND BECAUSE WHEN YOU LOOK AT THOSE BARS, AMITY STANDS OUT BEAUTIFULLY LOL

My degree of selflessness has also increased. Really? Of all the factions, I'd rather be in 1) Amity (yes, because I like peacefulness) 2) Erudite and 3) Dauntless. Abnegation sounds boring and pale and NOT PINK. -________- Well, you can't wear pink and red (this is why I really belong to the Amity faction) and yellow and violet and blue in Abnegation because you'd only know the colour grey grey grey grey grey! Dull as an abandoned castle. Candor? To be frank, Veronica Roth didn't really explain the Candor faction well (or if she purposely made Candor sound uninviting, I don't really know), so I never want to be in Candor.

This aptitude test is taken before Choosing Day, to let you see a glimpse of which faction you really belong. When you turn 16 or 18, you have to choose. Only the five.

Divergent? It means you possess all of the qualities of five of the factions equally. It means, you are genetically pure - a GP lolololol.

You can take the test here.

Acting happy when you're sad isn't really a hypocrite thing to do


I just watched a video on Youtube on how to get over a break up. (Now, now, I'm not in the verge of post-break-up thing because I never get involved in any relationship thanks) And then there was this part where the video said that to overcome the depression of breaking up, we need to be happy and let others see us as a cheerful person with no worries. Then the vlogger said to her friend who was under pressure of the broken relationship, "Let's go out, have fun, watch movies, do that and this," and her friend responded, "If I act happy in front of people whereas inside I'm tortured as hell, wouldn't that be a hypocrite thing to do?"

My answer is, NO, you're not being hypocrite just by showing that you're happy when really, you're just as sad as the twelve publishers that turned down J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter's manuscripts years ago.

The thing about happy is that when you're happy, it affects others so easily. Seeing someone smiling and laughing can make our day (except if you're an asshole that hates everything people do, so you are really screwed and need to seek help). Yes, people don't know what we're really facing inside, but at least by showing that we are as happy as troubled people can be happy, then, you yourselves can enjoy the little things, too.

Spending time with friends when you're so feeling down, at first you'd feel that you're pushing yourselves too far by going to have fun with them. Well, believe me, when you start your 'having fun' thing, you can't never go back and your happiness is real, not just a mask to keep hidden your misery. By 'acting' happy, that means you're trying to get yourselves to feel the real emotion of being happy, so when you are finally adapting to the happiness you're trying to reach, you will feel it for real.

Define 'hypocrite'. As in my case, I think hypocrite means doing something good you don't mean to do so that people would see you as a good person, but the truth is you did the thing just for the sake of fame and hurting others.

Happiness is a bless, it's something's that is so much. You can feel happy even when you're sad, and when you're really happy or you're in love or when you're riding a bike but you fall and then you hurt your knee or something, you can still be happy because if you don't fall, you'd never find out the metaphor of falling a bike is very similar to when your life is falling apart, because, how you manage to get up and endure your pain and face the challenges ahead are the things that really matter in the end.

If you think by acting happy you're being a hypocrite, I gladly disagree with you. You can choose to be happy or sad or broken or anything. Choose the right feeling, so that it will give you strength to move on and inspiration to get on with your lives. Even when you're sad and you feel like the world is against you, CHOOSE to be HAPPY. Only by being happy that you can get over your sadness and depression and pressure.

There's nothing wrong in being happy. I like being happy. At times when depression weighs me down, I'd see happy people and I'd smile, because someone in this world is happy although I am not and that's enough to keep me going for the rest of the crappy day.

Smile, don't worry happy. :)

Still, no offer.


Assalamualaikum everyone

Maaflah lately ni takde entri sangat. And previous entries pun full of emotional stuffs je. Honestly, I don't have any ideas what to put in here, it just gets more and more boring each day. I'm used to this freedom of not going to school and everything but sometimes it goes from emotional to super duper deep emotional. Because I have nothing to think of except myself and what I did, do and will do.

Almost everyday I went out with my friends, ALMOST. But sekarang dah berkurangan sikit sebab any applications for universities and scholarships semua dah tutup permohonan, so there's no need to see the counselor for tips and help anymore (so we don't go to school that often). But I guess it's not wrong to head to school because you've got to miss everyone especially your teachers, right.

Sooo, my friends, Alya, Sofiah and 'Ainul got to go to the physical test for the teaching programme they applied. Alya and Sofiah's venue of test was the same, which was at Institut Pendidikan Guru (IPG) Dato' Razali at Batu Rakit, 'Ainul dapat kat Besut. Due to transportation problems, Sofiah had me fetching her from IPG. We went to eat PIZZA after thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. I love pizza. Okay, everyone knows that xD

Alya and Syafiqah succeeded in applying for MARA's financial aid programme. They took the psychometric test online and both will attend the interview next week. I'M STILL HERE RECEIVING NO OFFER -_-

My 5 Muslim class' WhatsApp group pun kecoh pasal interviu itu ini. Mostly because the active ones are all straight As students and whose applications for any scholarships/loan/universities got accepted and they were and are in the process of going for interviews. And here I am, having no experience on how to face an interview whatsoever. Sometimes I think I'm gonna screw myself in interviews, other times I'm just clueless as to what I'd be facing in the future.

I didn't think it would be this hard (okay actually I did) to apply for scholarship for Medicine even when you got 10As and a B. Well, it makes sense that that single B is one of the science subjects. But I don't think it's the end of the world. I have choices and I'll make the best one. For me. Not for anyone else. For the meantime, I need to have a really good look on the things I'm interested in, my parents are interested in, and my capability of enduring the years of studying if I decided on a certain course.

Actually I don't have 'that feeling' anymore, of pursuing Medicine in Ireland. It sort of like, goes away within time. Maybe because I finally realise where I stand. I really wanted to go to Ireland, I still do, but the anxiety and excitement of going study to that place are slowly fading. Like, you know, when you first light up a fire, it burns bright and if you stand close enough you'd feel the intense heat, but then as the night continues, your fire will slowly fade until the only remains are the ashes.

I once dreamed of becoming a doctor, working hard at the hospital, and maybe after a few years of working there, I'd get my Masters in Obstetric and Gynecology so that I can be a specialist in O&G and create new methods in treating infertile people of some sort, or maybe if I'm not getting my Masters I'd be opening a clinic of my own, with cute and pretty decorations in PINK, and all my nurses uniforms and my doctor coats would be pink as well.

All of my 17 years, I had only one career in my mind: DOCTOR.

And then things change, and won't stop changing. Some people said there's a reason that I got a solid A for Biology; it's because it is my destiny to be a doctor. Others seem to discourage me in pursuing my studies in the Medicine field, which I find a little too distracting but satisfying in the same time (it's complicated). And my aunts keep saying to go for Actuarial Science, a course with a promising job opportunity. So, I still have to consider and make things right.

Seriously, I'm saying thanks to the people who created the word 'and' and 'so', otherwise people wouldn't know how to make their sentences longer and more related to each other. Lol

Hmm, even so, I probably need to Google for some more scholarships and tips for interviews or something. But I'm here, still too lazy to google things and then I keep reading books that have the power to torture me inside out -_____-" Like seriously, I finished both The Fault in Our Stars and The Perks of Being A Wallflower in a week (other books I'd bought earlier but haven't read must be freaking jealous of these two). I rated both 5 stars on Goodreads...............

I've been staying up late these days BECAUSE of my WhatsApp group with Alya, Piah, Piqah, Kakti and 'Ainul. We've been chatting and joking and sending voice notes like crazy lol gimme a break but they won't give me any so I've decided to entertain them. And you; try searching "Twinkle twinkle little star Indian version" on Youtube, select the one with the duration 00:20 (by nafisa02) you WON'T be disappointed.

Adios, amigos.



Search contacts.

Kakti Athirah.

Beep beep... Beep beep... Beep beep...


"Ti.." *sendu*



"Fi! tu?"

"Ho.." *sendu*

"Fi... Jangan aaahh... Bakpe ni, Fi?"

"Hok...*sendu* say...e ka...b..o ah.." *sendu*

"Jangan gini, Fi... Jangan nangih..."


"Fi... Okey dok ni?"

"" *sendu*


" je..e.."

"Jangan ah, saye dok pandai pujuk orang.."


"Piah, Piqah balik doh?"


"Doh awok nok saye gi rumoh awok ke?"



In your deepest misery

you'll need something to hold on to

someone strong to give you strength

to lend you their strength

If you need to cry

that someone will be there

It's not of their comfort words

it's them leaning in and lending their shoulders

listening to your melancholic rhythms

But sometimes,

all you need to do is


"Allah, I miss You..

And I need You really bad..."

Kakti, 'Ainul, Alya, Piah and Piqah...

Thank you.

Tetiba nak sedih



Me :( | via Tumblr

This post will be annoyingly emotional (habis tu bilanya entri tak emo kbai). Sometimes I blame myself for not getting straight As. Sometimes I think that it's really just nothing to not get straight As.

But the former bothers me so much.

My siblings said not to look at people above us. But I just can't help it, I'm still looking at them, like, every single day.

Bestnya dapat 11A. Nak apply apa-apa pun dapat. LAYAK. Sebab lepas syarat.

Semua orang nak 11A masuk universiti dia, masuk asasi dia apa semua.

Kfaing aku mintak yang program pinjaman MARA tu, tapi tak dapat. So Ummi aku macam frust ah sampai dua tiga hari ni asyik nak marah-marah je kalau cakap dengan aku. Takpe ah aku tahu aku ni bukan pandai mana.

Boleh tak Fifiey jangan sedih sangat jangan jadi pathetic sangat

Rasa macam 10A yang aku dapat tu tak ada makna langsung pun, sebab B satu tu. Ini ah mentaliti orang kita, tengok result 10A1B, tak nak tengok dah A tu, nak tengok B jer.

Ya, mungkin aku main-main kot masa belajar dulu. Aku tak sungguh sungguh sebab tu dapat B Chemistry. Memang aku ni tak pandai mana subjek sains dari sekolah rendah lagi. Tapi aku cuba, aku cuba, aku cuba. Bukan senang nak score, tapi takde pun orang nak appreciate, sampai aku pun tak appreciate jugak result aku sendiri.

Tak habis habis lagi aku ni kan, padahal dah nak hampir sebulan dapat result.

Lepas tu minggu ni, ada lagi orang buat sakit hati aku, aku rasa nak gila je. Semua orang pakat nak emo, arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

Susah nak apply Medic kalau ada sangkut satu subjek sains. Dalam negara ataupun luar negara. What a nuisance. Yelah aku ni patut sedar diri kan, dah kalau subjek sains tu dapat B, takyah mengada-ngada nak mintak Medik lah ukur baju di badan sendiri lah kan kalau gemok tu gemok la tak payah nak try baju saiz S lah.


Ok -_-

Orang pun mungkin dah fed-up kot dengan aku ni sebab tu mesej apa semua tak balas ennnnnnnnnnnnnnn.


Hidup orang dah dapat lesen kereta



Dah lama tak update ye kat sini. Saja tiru Alya sebab dia pun tak hapdet blog dia jugak. Dengar kata nak update tahun 2081, tu pun saya tak percaya mana. Agaknya dia akan extend sedekad dua lagi tu.


Alhamdulillah, I had my JPJ test on 16th March 2014 and aku lulus dengan jayanya oyeah! (tak jaya mana pun, berdebar nak luruh jantung nasib baik encik JPJ tu baik dan orang Kelantan dan pakai spek mata hitam xD). Nak bagitau betapa semangatnya aku ni ha, keesokan harinya tu dah pergi pejabat JPJ nak buat lesen.

Kuciwa gua bila kakak staf tu cakap, "Adik kena tunggu 3 hari dulu..."


Dahlah pergi pukul 8.00 pagi! Then balik tu pergi mana entah -_-

Lepas tiga hari, yakni hari result SPM, aku keluar rumah sebelum pukul 8 lagi sebab nak pergi buat lesen. SEKEJAP JE WA CAKAP LU! Dahla takde orang sangat. Tapi tang ambik gambar tu leceh la. Tak kira satu dua tiga pun tetiba "Ok adik boleh duduk dan tunggu nama dipanggil ye" and I was like "K."

And thereeeeeeee, finally I got my car license dan semenjak hari itu, Fifiey tak pernah duduk rumah lagi....

Melampau engko, pergi airport ambik anak sedara la, pergi UMT la, pergi rumah 'Ainul, rumah Kakti, rumah Piqah, rumah Piah. Bawak semua orang gi jejalan. Bawak Aishah pergi pantai.

HAH! Masa hari Khamis baru ni, Piah dan Alya ajak pergi pantai. And thennnnnn aku pun drive gi pantai tup tup tersekat pulak kereta dalam pasir apakah!!!!!!! Aku pun tak tahu kenapa aku bawak sampai dalam pasir, k.

Masa terlekat apa semua tu, semua orang (aku, Piqah, Piah and Alya) tak lah panik mana tapi duk gelak guling guling tak tahu punca -_-" Then ada satu kereta putih ni lalu en, Alya dan Piah lompat lompat lambai lambai mintak tolong. Tapi kereta tu tak berhenti pun.

Piah: .... *muka konfius*
Alya: Pak cik tu angkat tangan je ke saye. *muka sedih dan kecewa*

Aku: What?! Angkat tangan je?! Apa, dia ingat dia artis ke?!!??!

Huwaaaaaa takde orang tolong xD

Tapi beberapa saat lepas tu, Alya tahan seorang pakcik yang tengah naik motor ngan anak beliau dua orang, dan seorang lagi pakcik dari pondok nelayan sampai.

Yang sedihnya, masa takde orang tolong tu, aku, Piah dan Alya yang tolak kereta melampau dahlah pakai baju kurung jilbab apa semua x))) Nak tambah drama lagi, tengah hujan separa lebat. Habis la basah kiteorang semua ni. Syafiqah selaku pro bawak kereta yang duk tekan pedal minyak semua benda.

Pakcik yang dua orang tu tolak kereta terus gerak tau! Hairan aku, masa aku Alya Piah tolak kereta tu tak berganjak walau seinci tau takkkkkkk.........!!!!

Alya: Masa pakcik tu tolak kereta, saya rasa macam lemah sangat.

Aku: Lemah sungguh wanita ni kan xD

Alhamdulillah pakcik berdua tu tolong. Pastu nak lagi memalukan, masa pakcik yang bawak anak-anak tu lalu depan kereta aku lepas tu, aku tertekan hon. Pakcik tu gelak je -..-

Masa minggu sebelum tu, aku keluar dengan Piah je. Pastu aku bawak kereta terkena lubang, habis terpelanting rim tayar belakang belah kiri!!!!! Aku tak tahu ah, ni semua salah Piah! Salah Piah! XD Asal naik dengan dia, ada je something yang tak boleh blah berlaku xD Masa aku naik ngan 'Ainul dan Piqah takde pape pun! Huuuuuuuu xD

Harini pergi rumah Kakti. Abang dia yang sulung kawen. Sekarang ni, all her elder siblings dah officially married. Next one in line is definitely KAKTI. Kakti cepat la kawen, cepatla cepatttt! xD

Ok sekian sajaaaaaaaa~

OK saya jawab


Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakaatuh.

Siapa pulak anonymous yang tanya aku maksud 'cendeng' ni? -_- Cendeng tu kalau dalam definisi yang aku guna, ialah 'tersangkut' dan yang menyebabkan sesuatu menjadi lemah/tak sempurna.

Contohnya macam situasi aku yang dapat 10A1B.

Orang akan tanya, "Mende hok cendeng tu?" maksudnya "Apa yang 'cendeng' tu?" yakin mereka tanya subjek yang aku tak dapat A tu.

God, I'm so bad at explaining things, so sorry yeaaaaaa x)

Harap faham and be flattered I'm posting the answer here since I didn't know how to contact you, Mr/Ms Anonymous (I still don't) personally. Kbyeee