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Showing posts from February, 2015

The late night breeze

Sprawling on the floor,
Trying to get a grip on Probability and stuffs,
Thinking ahead of time,
Listening to Yiruma's lullabies,
Reminiscing the good old times,
Longing for someone to hug this broken heart.

Daydreaming in the still of night,
Imagining the luxury of home,
Though miles away,
A smile forming along with
dreamy eyes staring at the white ceiling,
Wouldn't it be great to feel the coziness of something home-ish?

Half a smile,
The year ago went by,
Remembering one phrase that used to be meaningful;
"Only hate the road when you're missing home"
A full smile.

The longing feeling to go home is still here,
Lingering all the time,
Missing both parents and family,
But the road is brighter now,
With light shining all around,
And no,
The road is not hated.

The past,
Full of sunlight,
And they were good while they lasted,
But there can be no more,
The feelings gone,
The bond fading,
Along with darkness starting to crawl.

Breathing in deep,
Breathing out normally,

English.

"Silau.""Adik pandai cakap English tak?""Pandai.""Cuba cakap.""English."****Throughout my years of education, I remember all of my English teachers, since English is my favourite subject.Standard 1: Teacher Hasnah
Standard 2: Teacher Zaini
Standard 3: Sir Naziron
Standard 4: Sir Tan Yew Ghee
Standard 5: Teacher Wan Noor Khalbi
Standard 6: Teacher Wan Noor KhalbiForm 1: Teacher Shafizahnoor
Form 2: Teacher Najmiah
Form 3: Teacher Shafizahnoor
Form 4: Sir Nasarudin
Form 5: Teacher MahshuriPASUM Sem 1: Miss Sakila and Teacher Ifah
PASUM Sem 2: Miss SuhailaThey were/are my favourite teachers, since you know, English is my most favourable subject...and I was/am close to them. I don't know why, there's this fierce passion in me for English and its literature and its people.It is kind of amazing having a deep crush on English. I'd have to thank the books I read. I didn't even know I was going to be a reader back then ;) But ev…

Pergi.

Pagi itu, hatinya terasa sayu sedikit. Tapi digagahkan jua diri untuk bersiap-siap, untuk bertemu sahabat baiknya. Baju-T biru dan seluar jeans disarung. Rambutnya yang sudah sedikit panjang dibetulkan, disikat-sikat bagi nampak kemas. Terus dia capai kunci motorsikal dan dompetnya sebelum keluar dari rumah.Sewaktu dalam perjalanan, fikirannya hanya separa fokus akan pemanduannya. Mujurlah jalan raya pada hari itu lengang. 'Pandai betul mamat ni pilih masa.'Tiba di Taman Titiwangsa, dia memarkir motorsikalnya di bawah pohon yang rendang. Helmetnya dibuka dan dia atur langkah ke bangku berdekatan. Tempat biasa dia dan sahabatnya lepak. Dikelihnya jam di tangan, 4.58 petang. Dia senyum. Sememangnya dia dan sahabat menjaga ketepatan waktu. 'Seminit lagi sampailah tu.'Jangkaannya tepat. Tepat jam 4.59 sahabatnya sampai, tersengih busuk ke arahnya."Kalau ikut jam aku, kau lambat seminit. Kalau ikut jam betul, kau awal seminit," selorohnya.Sahabatnya itu tergelak s…

Demons [Part 3]

“We all have demons inside us, Nick. The Tsalagi have an old saying—every heart holds two wolves. One is the white wolf, who is made up of love, kindness, respect, decency, compassion, and all the things that are good in life. The black wolf is born of jealousy, hatred, pettiness, prejudice, vindictiveness, and all the poisons of the human personality. The two constantly war with each other for dominance. And one day, one wolf will overtake and devour the other.”"Yeah, but which one?""Always the one you feed, kid."- Acheron and Nick, Chronicles of Nick, Book Number Forgotten, Sherrilyn Kenyon

Boooooo

Aip aipBukanlah nak sentap
Tapi hmm
Nak luah jewAjak kawan keluar, selalu tak jadisemua busyMesej abang ajak keluar, blue tick je dapatAku ni dah jenuh buat muka tembok ajak orang keluarSelalu je kena rejectTak aku tak marah punTapi cuma aku tertanya-tanyaMaybe people don't like my company that much kotSo that's why aku rasa I'm better off aloneKalau sekali dua ajak keluar tak boleh takpa
Ni banyak kaliTakpe tak marah, tak sentapSalah aku, aku tahuKadang-kadang aku terpikirrrr,Apa salah aku sampai kalau aku ajak orang keluar diorang tak nak?Oh wait.Aku pun kalau orang ajak keluar, aku tak nak.....Tapi tak lah selalu.Entah lah maybe what you give you get back kotHurm...
Lagi?Better la I wander off alone in Mid Valley,Makan sushi,Singgah MPH baca buku.Maybe I'm destined to be this wayAlone, alone and alone.By alone I mean without people around me la,
Tuhan tu selalu ada kan?Hehe.
Luahan hati je.Sedih tu sedih, tapi dah lali.Biarlah.Selamat malam.

Permata.

Dan dengan itu,
Pergilah seorang permata,
Seorang insan yang dikasihi,
Bukan kerana rupanya,
Bukan juga kerana pangkatnya,
Tidak pula kerana hartanya,Tapi sayang untuknya
Kerana perjuangannya,
Kerana pengorbanannya,
Kerana kebaikannya,
Kerana jihadnya di jalan Tuhan,Insan yang mulia,
Ulama' pewaris nabi,
Alllahu...Perginya beliau pada malam yang berkah,
Maka mungkin makhluk selain manusia juga turut menangis,
Perginya seorang tok guru,
Perginya beliau,
Meninggalkan kita semua,
Di dunia yang kian rapuh ini.Berehatlah, Tuan Guru...
Bergembiralah engkau dapat bertemu Penciptamu,
Sungguh...kerana Dia kehendaki,
Dia ingin bertemumu, wahai Tuan Guru...Bersemadilah di sana,
Moga syurga tempatmu.
Dan kita yang di sini,
Masih menghitung hari,
Menunggu saat dijemputnya mati,
Berssdiakah kita andai tiba saatnya nanti?Teruskanlah perjuangan kita.
Tak sehebat Tuan Guru pun, usahakanlah yang kita mampu.Permata yang pergi,
Tak kukenal engkau secara dekat,
Tapi mendengar namamu sudah timbul perasa…

Demons [Part 2]

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of goldWhen your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail
Are the worst of all
And the blood's run staleI wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's nowhere we can hideNo matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom comeWhen you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hideDon't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hideAt the curtains call
It's the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawlSo they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you've madeDon't wanna let you down
But I am, hell bound
Though this is all for you
Don't wanna hide the truthNo matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom come
This is my kingdom comeWhen you feel my heat
Loo…

Shouldn't

I shouldn't
Be cool
Be calm.I shouldn't
Pretend
Like I am happy
Like I don't really care.I shouldn't
Stay silent
Hide the truth,
I shouldn't.Shouldn't I be honest?
So that this heart doesn't keep bleeding
Whenever their story is being told?Shouldn't I admit
The feeling
This feeling?
In the hopes that they will get it?I shouldn't dwell too much on this.....
....
....
Shouldn't I have gotten over this already?

Demons

...We all have demons inside usI don't know who came up with these demons-inside-us things
But, it is trueWe all have demons inside us.Don't get too close,
It's dark inside,
It's where my demons hide,
It's where my demons hide.My demons rarely hide,
They often waver beneath the surface,
A thin layer separating waiting to be broken,
Some might be able to spot them,
Because that barrier isn't too strong,
To sink the dark shades of my demons,
The demons are there,
But they choose not to run free,
Afraid of the horror they might cause,
So they stay.0

Appreciation

I may not be the best member
I know I am nowhere thereBut heyEverybody needs a "thanks"Or maybe you know not of thanking people?
Maybe you don't know how?:)A single thanks would mean so muchBut thatIs what we lack of these days.I'll be here if you need me,
To hear your rants and swearing,
But heyI know this won't last.You won't even acknowledge me after this
Since getting a simple thanks is a hard thing for youI wonderWhat people now define appreciation.

A book nerd like me

Image
I don't know
Not sure, to be exactWhen or where I started being a book maniacAll that I know of
IsThe feeling of being a part of another world
Starting from a vampire world
At least where the vampires sparkle under the Sun
Some others tell the death of vampire when the Sun greets themAnd then there are the tales of angels and demons
Witches and wizards
Half-bloods and pure bloodsA reader don't stop reading
Until it's time to stopBut then
It's not yet the timeSo peace will crawl into this madness
As words will flow into this heart of chaos.////Reading Apple & Rain by Sarah Crossan (her name sounds like croissant -.-) and loooook what I found! My long lost sweetheart ♡

Putus asa dah bangang

Hari ini super emosionalSumpah aku dah letih wei
Sumpah dah tak laratSumpah dah tak daya nak simpan semua ni
Nak berlakon yang aku tak kisah
Sumpah dah penat jadi bodoh sial dan bongok macam niSumpah dah fed up buat senyuman tak bermakna
Sumpah dah letih
Sumpah
Buat buat pasrah
Buat buat memahami
Buat buat tak merajukEntahlah aku tak tahu nak mengadu kat sapa
Boneka ke aku niDahlah jauh dari familyNak comfort dari orang?
"Pergi mampos"HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAMalas nak direct
Faham-faham sendirilahTapi sumpah dah letih sangat
Takde tempat nak tuju
Sahabat sejati hanya diri sendiri
Tu pun dah meletup rasanya niEntah bila nak jadi macam niHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAku marah orang mencarut
Kata-kata kesat semua tak sukaTapi sekarang rasa tak kesah sah kot
Why the hell aku kisah
Buat bodoh je
Buat aku nampak macam bangangBoleh pergi mam dengan maki hamunSelama ni boleh aku tahan
Tapi mungkin sampai satu part aku dah tak boleh
Sebab aku ni manusia biasaWei bangangNi kira tapis lagi ni
Setakat…

Cakap orang

Weh
Aku memang tak baik mana weh
Definisi baik tu takda pada akuTapi
Aku takkan pernah
Takkan
Keji fizikal orangHidung kembang
Telinga capangSensitif benda tuLagipun itu kan semua kurnia Tuhan
Takkan aku nak keji ciptaan sempurnaSejahat-jahat aku
Tak terdetik aku nak kata
Suara orang tu tak sedapNak buat macamana
Tuhan anugerah suara dia macam tuSungguh
Yang namanya keji itu
Orang yang mengkeji orang lainAllahuBiarlah orang nak kata fizikal aku
Suara akuBiarlah
Aku terima.Cumanya...Entahlah.Balik kepada sang diri.