Maybe Zayn should join The Script -Nads

29.3.15

Where's the "good" in "goodbye"?
Where's the "nice" in "nice try"?
Where's the "us" in "trust gone"?
Where's the "soul" in "soldier on"?
Now I'm the "lone" in "lonely"
'Cause I don't own you only
I can take this mistake
But I can't take the ache from heartbreak
No, I can't take the ache from heartbreak

No matter how it falls apart
There's an "art" in breaking hearts
But there's no fair in farewell, no
When I see you in the street
I pray to God you don't see
The silent "hell" in "I wish you well."

Burn CD

24.3.15

Salam.

Nak diceritakan semalam punya semalam. Hari Jumaat. Tengah aku duk seteghes buat Algebra memandangkan final dah dekat, tetiba kedengaran satu getaran.

Getaran apa tu?

Getaran hati?

Lulz. Phone vibrate. Tengah charging. Terus berlari pergi nak pergi jawab. Tapi sebelum tu.

Tengok jam dulu.

Pukul 1 pagi.

Aih, siapa pulak call malam-malam ni?

Tengok skrin phone, tertera nama Syafiqah Bonda sekali dengan gambar dia tengah buat peace dekat A&W.

Lagi tambah hairan.

Jawab jelah.

"Helo, Piqah?.."

Lalu kedengaran di hujung talian, "Helo, Fi! Huwaaa tolong saye!"

Tolong mende pulak ni aih...

"Tolong mende?"

"Macamane nok burn CD?"

Alamak aih tanya aku yang tak pernah burn CD ni.

"Burn jelah? Tekan situ burn CD."

"Dokleh! Dok jaddi! Huwaaa dohlah kene hantor esok!"

Aku "Hantor esok baru nok buat malam ni! Bagossss!"

Sempat lagi membebel tu.

Setelah dua tiga minit si Piqah ni meroyan, last sekali dia tanya.

"Sape ah yang reti bab bab ni?"

"Doktahu lah saye... *sebut nama seseorang* kbye!"

Piqah *gelak* "Hoi!"

HAHAHAHAHAHA

Aku pun berfikir sejenak.

"Alya...ce tanye Alya."

Belum sempat Piqah menjawab, aku tambah lagi.

"Hmm dakyoh lah. Ye bukan angkat phone pun."

Selepas cakap sorry apa semua, masing-masing menamatkan talian.

Aku sambung Algebra.

Kemudian, aku dapat idea! Terus pergi ambik phone balik.

Bukak WhatsApp, Piqah sedang merengek di group.

Lalu aku pun mencadangkan ideaku.

Aku: Piqah!
Aku: Saye tahu gane nok burn CD!

Wait for it ....

Piqah: Hoh! Cepat ah!

Aku: Awok ambik CD, pastu ambik lighter, pastu awok bakor ah CD tu!

Kbye!

Eh kau.

21.3.15

Hai kau.

Dulu masa first time nampak kau,

Aku rasa kau sedikit scary.

Sumpah scary. Taktahu kenapa. Haha.

But believe it or not, even aku first nampak kau dari belakang,

Tetiba hati aku terdetik,

"Nope, I'm not going to like this guy. Please no."

Not because of YOU,

Because of me, being typical of liking someone like you.

So cheesy.

I mean, like, mana ada orang cakap macam tu, muka pun tak nampak lagi.

And of course, then, I started liking you.

-_-

At first there was nothing, both were strangers trying to adapt with our new circumstances.

And boom.

You tried to make the first conversation.

I ran away.

I hid myself.

I strengthened my walls.

I held my guard high.

But I fell anyway.

From time to time, that feeling semakin kuat.

Lumrah orang sedang bercrush, sometimes ada perasaan yang si crush suka kita balik.

Well boys are boys. They can be so oblivious.

Most of the time I know you don't like me back. Entah, naluri bila bercrush memang macam tu.

Seolah-olah berharap crush suka kita balik.

But at the same time, tak nak dia crush kat kita balik.

#GirlsLogic

Lulz.

I tried, really hard, to get over you.

My roommates helped a lot.

But at the end of my process of moving on, poof, you came back and made things difficult again.

For now, I may have gotten over you but I had been crushing on you for over than 4 months, so...

My feelings need to be readjusted back to not liking you.

I...sort of feel you like someone else.

You wouldn't look at me when we talk, which is once in a blue moon.

And, whenever we pass by each other, you never say hi and I never smile.

Hmm well I suppose there was this one time that you tried catching my gaze but I avoided it as hard as I could and after that you went eavesdropping on me on the phone, and you laughed afterwards. I caught your gaze, your eyes shining with laughter.

Happy, were you? :)

Then we were taking pictures with the others, and you were asking out loud, "Is this the last?"

No one seemed to hear you, just me. But I didn't answer. Maybe you were talking to yourself? Then you asked again. And so I turned to you, saying, "Yeah, I guess."

You smiled but it didn't reach your eyes, and you tore off your gaze from me.

So I flipped you off, again. Just like I did the first time you wanted to make a conversation during Chemistry practical.

Wahidah keeps saying the same thing, "It's not time yet."

I know, I know.

But this hormone. 19-year-old hormone is trying to get to me -_-

In the end, anyway...

You don't really matter.

You're not important.

Some day you will be.

Maybe to me, maybe to someone else.

Have a happy life, you, and if you ever read this (which I doubt you would), I guess you know whom I'm talking about.

Good luck untuk finals.

Walls

14.3.15

I've read too many books
Experienced what the characters faced in their own perspective,
And one thing one thing that is always being highlighted by the authors;
Is the walls and barriers,
Built up against expectations,
So high those walls,
So afraid of breaking...

Unfeeling,
Ignoring everything,
Trying so hard not to become attached,
Never opening up to people,
Not trusting others,
So, so, so, damn scared to let people in...

And throughout the years
I've learned to shut myself out from them,
These walls surrounding me,
And I will hold still
Until one day someone is keen enough to break them
And perhaps someone worth staying.