Dulu masa first time nampak kau,
Aku rasa kau sedikit scary.
Sumpah scary. Taktahu kenapa. Haha.
But believe it or not, even aku first nampak kau dari belakang,
Tetiba hati aku terdetik,
"Nope, I'm not going to like this guy. Please no."
Not because of YOU,
Because of me, being typical of liking someone like you.
I mean, like, mana ada orang cakap macam tu, muka pun tak nampak lagi.
And of course, then, I started liking you.
At first there was nothing, both were strangers trying to adapt with our new circumstances.
You tried to make the first conversation.
I ran away.
I hid myself.
I strengthened my walls.
I held my guard high.
But I fell anyway.
From time to time, that feeling semakin kuat.
Lumrah orang sedang bercrush, sometimes ada perasaan yang si crush suka kita balik.
Well boys are boys. They can be so oblivious.
Most of the time I know you don't like me back. Entah, naluri bila bercrush memang macam tu.
Seolah-olah berharap crush suka kita balik.
But at the same time, tak nak dia crush kat kita balik.
I tried, really hard, to get over you.
My roommates helped a lot.
But at the end of my process of moving on, poof, you came back and made things difficult again.
For now, I may have gotten over you but I had been crushing on you for over than 4 months, so...
My feelings need to be readjusted back to not liking you.
I...sort of feel you like someone else.
You wouldn't look at me when we talk, which is once in a blue moon.
And, whenever we pass by each other, you never say hi and I never smile.
Hmm well I suppose there was this one time that you tried catching my gaze but I avoided it as hard as I could and after that you went eavesdropping on me on the phone, and you laughed afterwards. I caught your gaze, your eyes shining with laughter.
Happy, were you? :)
Then we were taking pictures with the others, and you were asking out loud, "Is this the last?"
No one seemed to hear you, just me. But I didn't answer. Maybe you were talking to yourself? Then you asked again. And so I turned to you, saying, "Yeah, I guess."
You smiled but it didn't reach your eyes, and you tore off your gaze from me.
So I flipped you off, again. Just like I did the first time you wanted to make a conversation during Chemistry practical.
Wahidah keeps saying the same thing, "It's not time yet."
I know, I know.
But this hormone. 19-year-old hormone is trying to get to me -_-
In the end, anyway...
You don't really matter.
You're not important.
Some day you will be.
Maybe to me, maybe to someone else.
Have a happy life, you, and if you ever read this (which I doubt you would), I guess you know whom I'm talking about.
Good luck untuk finals.