Still, no offer.

Assalamualaikum everyone

Maaflah lately ni takde entri sangat. And previous entries pun full of emotional stuffs je. Honestly, I don't have any ideas what to put in here, it just gets more and more boring each day. I'm used to this freedom of not going to school and everything but sometimes it goes from emotional to super duper deep emotional. Because I have nothing to think of except myself and what I did, do and will do.

Almost everyday I went out with my friends, ALMOST. But sekarang dah berkurangan sikit sebab any applications for universities and scholarships semua dah tutup permohonan, so there's no need to see the counselor for tips and help anymore (so we don't go to school that often). But I guess it's not wrong to head to school because you've got to miss everyone especially your teachers, right.

Sooo, my friends, Alya, Sofiah and 'Ainul got to go to the physical test for the teaching programme they applied. Alya and Sofiah's venue of test was the same, which was at Institut Pendidikan Guru (IPG) Dato' Razali at Batu Rakit, 'Ainul dapat kat Besut. Due to transportation problems, Sofiah had me fetching her from IPG. We went to eat PIZZA after thaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat. I love pizza. Okay, everyone knows that xD

Alya and Syafiqah succeeded in applying for MARA's financial aid programme. They took the psychometric test online and both will attend the interview next week. I'M STILL HERE RECEIVING NO OFFER -_-

My 5 Muslim class' WhatsApp group pun kecoh pasal interviu itu ini. Mostly because the active ones are all straight As students and whose applications for any scholarships/loan/universities got accepted and they were and are in the process of going for interviews. And here I am, having no experience on how to face an interview whatsoever. Sometimes I think I'm gonna screw myself in interviews, other times I'm just clueless as to what I'd be facing in the future.

I didn't think it would be this hard (okay actually I did) to apply for scholarship for Medicine even when you got 10As and a B. Well, it makes sense that that single B is one of the science subjects. But I don't think it's the end of the world. I have choices and I'll make the best one. For me. Not for anyone else. For the meantime, I need to have a really good look on the things I'm interested in, my parents are interested in, and my capability of enduring the years of studying if I decided on a certain course.

Actually I don't have 'that feeling' anymore, of pursuing Medicine in Ireland. It sort of like, goes away within time. Maybe because I finally realise where I stand. I really wanted to go to Ireland, I still do, but the anxiety and excitement of going study to that place are slowly fading. Like, you know, when you first light up a fire, it burns bright and if you stand close enough you'd feel the intense heat, but then as the night continues, your fire will slowly fade until the only remains are the ashes.

I once dreamed of becoming a doctor, working hard at the hospital, and maybe after a few years of working there, I'd get my Masters in Obstetric and Gynecology so that I can be a specialist in O&G and create new methods in treating infertile people of some sort, or maybe if I'm not getting my Masters I'd be opening a clinic of my own, with cute and pretty decorations in PINK, and all my nurses uniforms and my doctor coats would be pink as well.

All of my 17 years, I had only one career in my mind: DOCTOR.

And then things change, and won't stop changing. Some people said there's a reason that I got a solid A for Biology; it's because it is my destiny to be a doctor. Others seem to discourage me in pursuing my studies in the Medicine field, which I find a little too distracting but satisfying in the same time (it's complicated). And my aunts keep saying to go for Actuarial Science, a course with a promising job opportunity. So, I still have to consider and make things right.

Seriously, I'm saying thanks to the people who created the word 'and' and 'so', otherwise people wouldn't know how to make their sentences longer and more related to each other. Lol

Hmm, even so, I probably need to Google for some more scholarships and tips for interviews or something. But I'm here, still too lazy to google things and then I keep reading books that have the power to torture me inside out -_____-" Like seriously, I finished both The Fault in Our Stars and The Perks of Being A Wallflower in a week (other books I'd bought earlier but haven't read must be freaking jealous of these two). I rated both 5 stars on Goodreads...............

I've been staying up late these days BECAUSE of my WhatsApp group with Alya, Piah, Piqah, Kakti and 'Ainul. We've been chatting and joking and sending voice notes like crazy lol gimme a break but they won't give me any so I've decided to entertain them. And you; try searching "Twinkle twinkle little star Indian version" on Youtube, select the one with the duration 00:20 (by nafisa02) you WON'T be disappointed.

Adios, amigos.

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