SPM 2017 and the memories

Hai assalamualaikum! Today I just have to write something because it's SPM results day and I witnessed some scenes at my former high school today that bring back all the memories of MY SPM  results day back in 2013.

Anyway, I actually forgot that today was the day that SPM 2017 results came out officially. I promised my friends to hand over a questionnaire to my beloved counselor, Cikgu Rabiah, for a group assignment. And today was also the last day of school before the one-week break, so it was a busy day for all the teachers and staff.

I went to school anyway. I was supposed to hand over the questionnaire form to Cikgu Rabiah but she was in the middle of the SPM results ceremony where the emcee would be announcing students' names that got 9As, 10As, and 11As and these students would go up along with their parents and take their result slips from Tuan Pengetua.

Cikgu asked me to sit next to her, which was at the most front and near the stage.... She was in charge of the Unit Bimbingan dan Kaunseling booth. I sat next to her and awkwardly avoided stares and gazes from nearly everyone there hshshshshshsh, especially the kids that were receiving their results today.

Then the names were announced. It started with 9As students, 10As students and 11As. I was feeling a bit uncomfortable because out of sudden I became teary-eyed. So emotional. All the memories of me waiting for my SPM results came back to me and somehow it made me feel like crying.

I could feel the kids' anxiety, waiting for their names to be called, hoping for their names to be announced. Hoping that their names wouldn't be listed as the 9As and 10As students, wishing that they were amongst the straight As list. The first girl that went up came down crying because she got 9As.

I know how she felt. Sure, some people might say she was being ungrateful, but if you've worked your ass off for 2 years and in the mean time trying to balance responsibilities as prefects and club presidents and what not, only to get 2As lesser than your friends who worked just as hard as you.

I was most touched by the scenery. The students. Their parents. One parent even walked up the stage with their child even though his leg was hurting.

The hopes, the faces of the parents. The SPM-leavers' hopeful faces.

And then you could see the parents' proud faces when they children were called onto the stage. Their children holding their hands all the way from the back of the hall onto the stage. OMG THE FEELS

When everyone's names had been called, the ceremony ended and was proceeded with photography sessions. Everyone got up from their chairs and went to their parents, families, friends, teachers. Those who weren't called up onto the stage had to go to their class booths and take their slips from their class teachers.

Here was where it got super-emotional.

There was this one boy who didn't get up from his seat. Everyone around him was up and about, congratulating each other and celebrating. He just sat there and he was... crying. He was just alone and he was crying. Judging from his looks and the crowd sitting next to him before, he was the typical a-little-bit-naughty kid and he was crying.

I looked elsewhere, and I saw a girl holding hands with her friend and she was crying as well.

I didn't dare look anywhere else and went back to the kid crying alone. His friends started to gather around him and offer him comfort. A woman (his sister or mother maybe) patted his shoulder, comforting him.

My heart literally couldn't take it and I was about SO CLOSE to go find some corner to cry. Instead, I just laid out the scene to my besties on WhatsApp and we cried silently together.

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I'm here today to say that it's okay to cry. It's okay to feel devastated. It's okay to feel sad. I know no one is feeling ungrateful. It's just that we've tried so hard and we didn't get the results we wanted, and we feel disappointed, sad, angry, crushed. I know, kids.

It's also okay to feel happy. To be ecstatic about your results. Your hard work paid off. You finally got the results you've been aiming to get after years of hardship. It's okay, you deserve it.

It's okay to feel. There's nothing wrong with that.

But we should all be there for our friends. If our friend is sad, we go to them and be understanding and give comfort words to them. If our friend is overjoyed with their results, congratulate them. We've gone through the school years together, so we should be there for them at this time, too. Like the scene I witnessed earlier, the kid's friends are good friends because they were there for him.

And to all of SPM-leavers who got amazing great results, I want to personally congratulate all of you! You've done so wonderfully well and I understand the sacrifices you had to make in order to get the results you wished for.

To those who didn't get the results they were hoping for, I'm congratulating you anyway, and I hope you guys aren't demotivated. There's still a long way to go. You could still make it after this. Do not, ever, give up. Yes, SPM is important, but don't let it get in the way of your happiness. You can grieve, you can be sad, but when the time comes, you have to get up and face the world once again. You can prove your worth during matriculation, diploma, foundation, Form 6. SPM is not the end.

To adults who've been through this post-SPM phase, please be understanding. I know it's gonna be a tough week, maybe month. Be strong. We as the adults just let them feel whatever they wanna feel. We should be here, as good adults and persons and be supportive.

Last but not least, to people who love to ruin people's happiness and think they have some kind of claim in belittling others, please stop with all the, "Alah SPM je pun, tunggu la degree nanti,", "SPM straight As ke? Matrik/asasi belum tentu!" bullshit because it doesn't do good at all. If you have nothing nice to say, shut up and leave those kids alone.

"Let's show support to everyone. Make them feel grateful, even when they're sad." - me, 2016

Don't forget to say thank you to Allah, our parents, teachers, family, and friends. Without them, we won't be here today and surely we wouldn't have our success with us on this very day.